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IELTS speaking : Describe a famous person (still living) that you admire.

IELTS speaking: Describe a famous person (still living) that you admire. rKAmJ

The celebrity whom I really admire is definitely Kim NamJoon and he is known professionally as RM a member of the Korean boy group BTS. RM is a leader of BTS. He is a male rapper, vocal, songwriter, and music producer. Besides his great talents and leadership qualities, he is also a very intelligent person with an IQ of 151. At school, RM was previously ranked in the top 1% of the nation in his high school exams. He taught himself how to speak English, by watching the TV series “Friends” and In 2006 RM studied languages in New Zealand for 4 months. Because of that relenting effort, he was got a TOEIC score of 900, I want to follow him and striving for it. RM is one of the pioneers to say that his fans should put themselves first, they need to love themselves and speak for themselves, that's the most important thing. That's why on September 24, 2018, BTS and UNICEF established the Love Myself campaign to building a world filling with love together. RM presented a speech on behalf of BTS. I really liked his sentence in the speech: "Today, I am myself with my own mistakes and shortcomings. Tomorrow, maybe I'm a little wiser but it's still me. ". Because of his kindness, intelligence, and always think for his fans and other members that he can achieve great achievements had a lot of love from other people. Society says we have to grow up, our parents say we have to be smart, friends say we should be kind but he says we should be ourselves. That is the reason why I am holding in respect to him too much.

The celebrity whom I really
 admire is definitely Kim Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).NamJoon, and
NamJoon and
 he is known
professionally
 as RM a member of the Korean boy group BTS. RM is a leader of BTS. He is a male rapper, vocal, songwriter, and music producer.

Besides
 his great talents and leadership qualities, he is also
 a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 intelligent person with an IQ of 151. At school, RM was previously ranked in the top 1% of the nation in his high school exams. He taught himself how to speak English, by watching the TV series “Friends” and In 2006 RM studied languages in New Zealand for 4 months. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
Because
 of that relenting effort, he was This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquired
got
 a Possible spelling mistake found.TopicToxicTonicTO EIC
TOEIC
 score of 900, I want to follow him and striving for it.

RM is one of the pioneers to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrespondclaimconveyspeaksuggestadd
say
 that his fans should put themselves first
, they need to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withemotiontendernessappreciationtastefondnesslust
love
 themselves and speak for themselves, that's the most This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 thing. That's why on September 24, 2018, BTS and UNICEF established the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withemotiontendernessappreciationtastefondnesslust
Love
 Myself campaign to building a world filling with You use this word too often, consider replacing it withemotiontendernessappreciationtastefondnesslust
love
 together. RM presented a speech on behalf of BTS. I really
 liked his sentence in the speech: Use a smart opening quote here: "“".“
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :this day and agenowadays
Today
, I am myself with my This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 mistakes and shortcomings. Tomorrow, maybe I'm a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
little
 wiser This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 it's still
 me. Use a smart opening quote here: "“".“
"
. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
Because
 of his kindness, intelligence, and always This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 for his fans and other members that he can achieve great achievements had This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withemotiontendernessappreciationtastefondnesslust
love
 from other This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
. Society You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrespondclaimconveyspeaksuggestadd
says
 we This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 grow up, our parents You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrespondclaimconveyspeaksuggestadd
say
 we This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 be smart, friends You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrespondclaimconveyspeaksuggestadd
say
 we should be kind This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 he You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrespondclaimconveyspeaksuggestadd
says
 we should be ourselves. That is
 the reason why I am holding in respect to him too much. 