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Some people think that spending more on birthday and wedding celebration is waste of money.other think that it is important for youth and society.

Some people think that spending more on birthday and wedding celebration is waste of money. other think that it is important for youth and society. bQX9B
The most wonderful event in human’s lives is celebrated time. A celebration has many merits to an individual and societies. Some people believe that special events are very important which need [to spend a lot of money on celebrations. However, some argue that expensive parties are not very unnecessary for wasting money on them. This is an interesting issue that needs to be considered on both sides. On the one hand, celebration is a long tradition of humans since in the past. Having a birthday or a wedding party is not only important to an individual, but it also has some meanings to surrounding people and a society. During a party time, family members or friends can reunion, improve relationship and have a great time together which is very different to find a chance to meet each other. Maintaining socialization and expending social circles can be happened on a celebration. Moreover, some celebrations or organization’s parties have a different role in a community. Victory celebrations present an achievement, while company’s events create a sense of harmony between co-workers. Most companies always generate money on creating event parties because those celebrations can improve employee’s relationship and bring a better productivity to their work. On the other hand, it is certainly true that those special events are very wasting our money. Celebrations require a lot of money to generate on expensive food, lavish decoration and luxury places. Wealthy people tend to show their alacrity by presenting all their materials. Some affluent people compete their celebrations each other because they want to be the best one on their parties and are higher than others. The main purpose and value of special events are forgotten and replace with the materialistic instead. However, if a person has a small event with all around with love and happiness from closer friends and family, he also can experience a great time of celebration some as an exorbitant party. From my perspective, even though, most special events require an expensive cost to spend on them, they are wonderful time in human lives which can enrich an individual and societies. Moreover, having great celebrations can generate all happiness to everyone which is high value than money.
The most wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in human’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is celebrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
merits to an individual and societies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
which need
Unpaired symbol: ']' seems to be missing
[
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unnecessary for wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on them. This is an interesting issue that needs to
be considered
on both sides.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
is a long tradition of humans since in the past. Having a birthday or a wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to an individual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meanings to surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and a society. During a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, family members or friends can reunion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
relationship and have a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to find a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Maintaining socialization and expending social circles can
be happened
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
or organization’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
role in a community. Victory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
present an achievement, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
create a sense of harmony between co-workers. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
always generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
employee’s relationship and bring a better productivity to their work.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
certainly
true that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wasting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrations
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to generate on expensive food, lavish decoration and luxury places. Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their alacrity by presenting all their materials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to be the best one on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and are higher than others. The main purpose and value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are forgotten
and replace with the materialistic
instead
.
However
, if a person has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
with all around with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and happiness from closer friends and family, he
also
can experience a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
as an exorbitant party.

From my perspective,
even though
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
require an expensive cost to spend on them, they are wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
which can enrich an individual and societies.
Moreover
, having great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
can generate all happiness to everyone which is high value than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that spending more on birthday and wedding celebration is waste of money. other think that it is important for youth and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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