Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

IELTS CAMBRIDGE 16 Writing Task 1: Southwest Airport

IELTS CAMBRIDGE 16 Writing Task 1: Southwest Airport b3qNQ
It is suggested that the price of sugary products should be raised since numerous artificial food as well as drinking items are included a vast proportion of sugar, leading to plenty of health issues. As fas as i am concerned, i agree to the aim of this method, however it is not an ideal solution. To begin with, sugar is the most remarkable factor causing a number of sickness for that reason raising the cost of the sugar is necessary. This solution would encourage people to make a healthier food choices improving public health. For example, in Asia, host of the party such as wedding or birthday party prefer soft drink such as Coca Cola, pepsi, . . . . . instead of natural juice owing to the price, causing obesity among children. One again, due to the cost, many people addicted to the junk food as well as see it as a relaxing method in this busy life style. However, the more governments strike on the prices, the more consumer are willing to pay on these products in order to satisfy their addictions plus sacrifice on other areas for that reason i believe there are several methods in order to reduce the sugar consumption. First, educating children at school with the aim that increasing the awareness of the important of food in parallel with health care in an effort to create a better generation. Second, making trends about healthy life style which create an enormous influence on teenagers, who are the future of the world, in attempt to change the sugar consumption tendency In conclusion, i agree with raising the cost of the sugar with an aim to reform the sugar consumption habits, however there are several solutions that better than the superior one
It
is suggested
that the price of sugary products should
be raised
since numerous artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as drinking items
are included
a vast proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of health issues. As
Possible spelling mistake found.
fas
as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am concerned
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the aim of this method,
however
it is not an ideal solution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is the most remarkable factor causing a number of sickness for that reason raising the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is necessary. This solution would encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices improving public health.
For example
, in Asia, host of the party such as wedding or birthday party prefer soft drink such as Coca Cola,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pepsi
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
instead
of natural juice owing to the price, causing obesity among children. One again, due to the cost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
addicted to the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a relaxing method in this busy life style.

However
, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
strike on the prices, the more consumer are willing to pay on these products in order to satisfy their addictions plus sacrifice on other areas for that reason
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe there are several methods in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption.
First
, educating children at school with the aim that increasing the awareness of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in parallel with health care in an effort to create a better generation. Second, making trends about healthy life style which create an enormous influence on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, who are the future of the world, in attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption tendency

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with raising the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
with an aim to reform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption habits,
however
there are several solutions that better than the superior one
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay IELTS CAMBRIDGE 16 Writing Task 1: Southwest Airport

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts