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how people treat people with corona virus

how people treat people with corona virus m8nEn
VIRUS DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ANYONE AND NEITHER DO WE. In the context of an increasingly complicated pandemic within the appearance of the Omicron variant, the number of infections is increasing more and more and shows no sign of calling it quits. Each of us will tend to keep our distance and stay away from the F0, F1s. That is not wrong, but do you know whether we are over the limit between "self-defense" and "stigmatization"? AFFIRMATIVE We stand in sync with keeping our distance from people in case F. First of all, it's not discrimination, it's just normal self-defense. Human instincts often have a tendency to protect themselves or shrink agents from harming themselves. Besides, despite the awkward situation of the COVID-19 pandemic, everyone has to return to their normal life as it used to, each of us needs to know how to protect ourselves, and keeping distance, staying away from the F0, F1s is considered as an example. Reducing close contact with other people will help us reduce the risk of infection, not only to keep ourselves safe but also to contribute to the protection of the community. When everyone is so conscious, the infection rate will also go down, the number of infections will also decline, thereby lessening the overload pressure on hospitals and clinics, saving the budget spent for epidemic prevention for the state, furthermore we have a capability of restoring our normal life. So, instead of judging me as discriminating against F0 and F1, please understand that we are trying to protect ourselves from the pandemic. Protecting yourself is also protecting the health of those surrounding you from the danger and speed of transmission of this disease. NEGATIVE In the beginning, it is not wrong to avoid our contact with people in case F, but it is unnecessary to alienate or stigmatize patients excessively. Mocking, pointing fingers and contemptuous insults do not help us reduce our risk of infection, however, it only comes from our own selfishness. Not to mention the issue of the right and the wrong, words considered as jokes have hurt the psychology of many people, even from social media to real life. They had to endure a lot of pain during the treatment. Through the story of a patient who had been infected with SARS-CoV-2, we can clearly understand the pain they underwent. Stigmatization causes psychological fear for those who unfortunately become F0 or have a close contact with F0, leading to hiding, covering up, not daring to declare the disease, not daring to test, leading to the risk of disease spreading in the community. Currently, we have a vaccine, along with that we will produce antibodies against the virus after recovering from the disease, so stigma will do nothing except for turning you into a person lacking in updating news and understanding in that field in the eyes of everyone. Even if they recover from the disease later, the general invisible will become a psychological pain, making them feel guilty and afraid of contacting outsiders. Each of our actions has a reason, let's look at the problem with a positive direction and think holistically is what HDS wants to send to everyone. Facing this stressful epidemic requires a lot of sympathy and empathy from all people.
VIRUS DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ANYONE AND NEITHER DO WE.

In the context of an
increasingly
complicated pandemic within the appearance of the Omicron variant, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infections
is increasing more and more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of calling it quits. Each of us will tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our distance and stay away from the F0, F1s.
That is
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do you know whether we are over the limit between
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
self-defense
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
stigmatization
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
?

AFFIRMATIVE

We stand in sync with keeping our distance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in case F.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it's not discrimination, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
normal self-defense. Human instincts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a tendency to protect themselves or shrink agents from harming themselves.
Besides
, despite the awkward situation of the COVID-19 pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
return to their normal life as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to, each of us needs to know how to protect ourselves, and keeping distance, staying away from the F0, F1s
is considered
as an example.

Reducing close contact with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infection
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ourselves safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to contribute to the protection of the community. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
conscious, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infection
rate will
also
go down, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infections
will
also
decline, thereby lessening the overload pressure on hospitals and clinics, saving the budget spent for epidemic prevention for the state,
furthermore
we have a capability of restoring our normal life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
instead
of judging me as discriminating against F0 and F1,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
understand that we are trying to protect ourselves from the pandemic. Protecting yourself is
also
protecting the health of those surrounding you from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and speed of transmission of this disease.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE


In the beginning, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to avoid our contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in case F,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is unnecessary to alienate or stigmatize patients
excessively
. Mocking, pointing fingers and contemptuous insults do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infection
,
however
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
selfishness. Not to mention the issue of the right and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, words considered as jokes have hurt the psychology of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, even from social media to real life. They had to endure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pain during the treatment. Through the story of a patient who had
been infected
with SARS-CoV-2, we can
clearly
understand the pain they underwent.

Stigmatization causes psychological fear for those who unfortunately become F0 or have a close contact with F0, leading to hiding, covering up, not daring to declare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, not daring to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, leading to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
spreading in the community.

Currently
, we have a vaccine, along with that we will produce antibodies against the virus after recovering from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
stigma will do nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
turning you into a person lacking in updating news and understanding in that field in the eyes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
. Even if they recover from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
later, the general invisible will become a psychological pain, making them feel guilty and afraid of contacting outsiders.

Each of our actions has a reason,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's look at the problem with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
direction and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
holistically
is what HDS wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
. Facing this stressful epidemic requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sympathy and empathy from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay how people treat people with corona virus

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
545 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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