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I will talk about what I want to do in the future

I will talk about what I want to do in the future 0E0pn
Today I will talk about what I want to do in the future. I want myself to be better, more diligent. I want to learn english well. I will study hard to graduate from university with good results. And practice more necessary soft skills. I want to find a good job. Independent and able to support himself. Fulfill your parents' wishes. I want to be successful in my life. So that my parents don't have to worry about me anymore. I want to have good health. So I will exercise regularly, get enough sleep and eat more properly.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I will talk about what I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do in the future.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
myself to be better, more diligent.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
well.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to graduate from university with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results.

And practice more necessary soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. Independent and able to support himself.

Fulfill your parents' wishes.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be successful in my life.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
my parents don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about me anymore.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will exercise
regularly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sleep and eat more
properly
.

IELTS essay I will talk about what I want to do in the future

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
98 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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