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I took a risk. that I almost couldn’t take the national high school exam.

I took a risk. that I almost couldn’t take the national high school exam. 30DbY
I am a person who always lives in a safe area. so I don't take a risk to do anything if I don't know what will happen. So I just remember one time when I took a risk. that I almost couldn’t take the national high school exam. Before the exam started, I was very determined to get a good score in the exam without eating enough. A few days later, I started feeling terrible stomachache for no reason. In the morning I woke up with a cup of black coffee to wake myself up. But I didn't know I was allergic to coffee, then I felt extreme pain in my stomach and dizziness. But I continued to go to school as usual. but my body couldn't take the horrible pain and I was hospitalized that night. I had to go with that pain for 2 weeks. Fortunately, my stomach started to get better and I can take the exam without knowing when it will come back suddenly. I have to take the exams while having a stomachache. But I try to forget that pain to finish my exams perfectly. I was finally able to complete and pass the exam miraculously. Although the pain is better than before, I still can't forget the feeling of completing the exam along with the stomachache. This was a risk I’ve never forgotten.
I am a person who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a safe area.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
I don't take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to do anything if I don't know what will happen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
remember one time when I took a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
I almost couldn’t take the national high school exam.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the exam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
determined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score in the exam without eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. A few days later, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
feeling terrible stomachache for no reason. In the morning I woke up with a cup of black coffee to wake myself up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I didn't know I was allergic to coffee, then I felt extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
in my stomach and dizziness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I continued to go to school as usual.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
my body couldn't take the horrible
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pain and
I
was hospitalized
that night. I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
for 2 weeks.
Fortunately
, my stomach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better and I can take the exam without knowing when it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back
suddenly
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the exams while having a stomachache.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I try to forget that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
to finish my exams
perfectly
. I was
finally
able to complete and pass the exam
miraculously
.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
is better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, I
still
can't forget the feeling of completing the exam along with the stomachache. This was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
I’ve never forgotten.
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IELTS essay I took a risk. that I almost couldn’t take the national high school exam.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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