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is the social media harmful?

is the social media harmful? kxJjR
Network users have an idea about how social media harmful on teenagers. On a global level, social network have affected on teenagers in a negative way. According to Briggs (2014), she talks about how some girls are dealing with self-negative comparisons with their friends in the social media such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Also Briggs (2014), mentions that there's no link between spending 80% each day on social media and eating disorders, yet there's a connection with feeling anxious about their self-body image. A number of teenagers under the pressure due to the future plans as well as exam results, so they go to social network to distract themselves instead talking to their parents, Weale(2015). To close up, we observed how social media have affected on teenagers and answered the question of why teenagers are keeping some distance with their families. As well as the disadvantages against teenagers with the social media, there're advantages would help them in some points. Social media might be beneficial for teenagers in their daily routine. Thompson(2013), discusses why parents shouldn't be worried about their kids' privacy, teenagers are aware about their privacy accounts, in example some teenagers after having a delightful conversation they delete the text. In spite of social media may distracting to teenagers from their studies and homework, it helps them to gather the information, Thompson(2013). Also according to Thompson(2013) says teenagers aware that social media might be a distraction to them but they are trying to reduced using social platform and that's a part of maturing. In conclusion, teenagers not using social media just for having fun but for personal benefits as well. Social media has a plenty of advantages and disadvantages, however it confirmed by evidence that there's a dark side is affecting on teenagers. Weale(2015), online applications increase the pressure and panic attacks as well as the future plans and the next chapter of their life. Despite the benefits of social media, they social media has absolutely enormous reason to damage sleeping quality and increase the anxiety and pressure, Weale(2015). Although bullying and criticism not frequent in the social media, it has an effect on teenagers to feel cross and lacking of the confidence, Thompson(2013). According to Thompson (2013), teachers are worried about teenagers because of the non-academic language they have been using in essays and college applications. Therefor, we know that social media has a more huge effect on teenagers in the disadvantages side and it's harmful if they kept using the social network in the wrong way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Network
users have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
harmful on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. On a global level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way. According to Briggs (2014), she talks about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
girls are dealing with self-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
comparisons with their friends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
Briggs (2014), mentions that there's no link between spending 80% each day on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and eating disorders,
yet
there's a connection with feeling anxious about their self-body image. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
under the pressure due to the future plans
as well
as exam results,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
to distract themselves
instead
talking to their parents,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Weale
(2015). To close up, we observed how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and answered the question of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
distance with their families.

As well
as the disadvantages against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, there're advantages would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
might be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in their daily routine. Thompson(2013), discusses why parents shouldn't
be worried
about their kids' privacy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are aware about their privacy accounts, in example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
after having a delightful conversation they delete the text.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may distracting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from their studies and homework, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to gather the information, Thompson(2013).
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
according to Thompson(2013) says
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
aware that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
might be a distraction to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are trying to
Did you mean "reduce"?
reduced
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform and that's a part of maturing.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
not using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for having fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for personal benefits
as well
.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages and disadvantages,
however
it confirmed by evidence that there's a dark side is affecting on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Weale
(2015), online applications increase the pressure and panic attacks
as well
as the future plans and the
next
chapter of their life. Despite the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
absolutely
enormous reason to damage sleeping quality and increase the anxiety and pressure,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Weale
(2015). Although bullying and criticism not frequent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, it has an effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to feel cross and lacking of the confidence, Thompson(2013). According to Thompson (2013), teachers
are worried
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the non-academic language they have been using in essays and college applications.

Therefor, we know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a more huge effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in the disadvantages side and it's harmful if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
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IELTS essay is the social media harmful?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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