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Advertising industry has a huge impact on society .do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Advertising industry has a huge impact on society. do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages MqQrq
Advertisements are omnipresent nowadays to increase the productivity of the product. However the significant proportion of people vehemently contend advertisements has huge impact on society whether positive or negative. I believe the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages of it and discuss it in upcoming paragraphsTo commence with, undoubtedly advertisements are effective way of marketing nevertheless it has numerous negative impacts, the first and foremost is the advertising industries show fallious things, which are totally mis-match from reality. they use big fonts, creativity and famous artists to allure people especially youngsters toward the product such as energy drinks red bull, sting and many more. which misguided them about the products. it is indirectly exploitation of individuals as they buy that products which is totally wastage of their money. Moreover, the drugs related advertisements attract young generation as they are quickly observe things by seeing them on regular basis. for example the NRF revealed a survey recently that advertisements displayed on tv for 24 hours in a week that allure young one's towards negative things Another insight cannot be overlooked that although it has various bad impacts nevertheless it is positive trend upto some extent, as it increases the productivity of products and it is tremendously beneficial of beginners to obtain popularity and money. Moreover, it is important for individuals also as they can know about ins and outs of marketing and choose better items by comparing products To conclude, it is crystal clear that advertising industry has bad impacts on society such as they misguide people and allure towards negative things, which outweigh its positive side, as I earlier mentioned.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
are omnipresent nowadays to increase the productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the significant proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vehemently
contend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
has huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on society whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
. I believe the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages of it and discuss it in upcoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
paragraphsTo
commence with,
undoubtedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
Please check whether an article is missing: "a effective".
effective
way of marketing
nevertheless
it has numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
, the
first
and foremost is the advertising industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
fallious
things, which are
totally
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-match
from reality.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fonts, creativity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
artists to allure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
youngsters toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
such as energy drinks
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
red bull
, sting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
misguided them about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
indirectly
exploitation of individuals as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which is
totally
wastage of their money.
Moreover
, the drugs related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
attract young generation as they are
quickly
Consider using a past participle here: "observed".
observe
things by seeing them on regular basis.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example the NRF revealed a survey recently that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
displayed on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
for 24 hours in a week that allure young one's towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
things Another insight cannot
be overlooked
that although it has various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
nevertheless
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, as it increases the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and it is
tremendously
beneficial of beginners to obtain popularity and money.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for individuals
also
as they can know about ins and outs of marketing and choose better items by comparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
To conclude
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that advertising industry has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on society such as they misguide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and allure towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
things, which outweigh its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, as I earlier mentioned.
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IELTS essay Advertising industry has a huge impact on society. do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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