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I think that junk paper should be follow traditions while others think that young people should be free to be individuals described both view points.

I think that junk paper should be follow traditions while others think that young people should be free to be individuals described both view points. BwXWX
The significance of culture which was debatable has become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial by other reject this notion. IT is argued that, certain masses think that youngster should follow traditions. others believe that young people should be free to be masses. This essay will elaborate both views in the following paragraph beforereaching a logical conclusion. To commence with, undoubtedly, there are plenty of reasons which could explain in this argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that is moral values. To be precise, if mature person learn their culture so, they explain their traditions to their next generation in the future. With the help of this, they connect the roots of their culture. It is very beneficial for future. Another fundamental aspects of this trend is of spread culture. In more detail, if we wear traditional clothes and go outside to their country. Thus, they know easily that we are Indian. However, if any tourist come in India and they go diverse locations in India like Golden temple, Tajmahal as well as Haveli etc. for providing information related to their cultures. Due to this, they show respect regarding to parents along with elders. On the other hand, focusing on other viewpoints. First and foremost one is independent. To elaborate more, some people think that young people should be free to choose their own opinion regarding any work. Moreover, they have a freedom to choose their ability. Another aspects of this trend is personality development. In fact, if any youngsters can go outside to their Nations. Hence, they can influence by others like their style and way of talking. They can copy it. They follow other countries traditions with the help of this. To conclude, after pondering a great deal of thought, the main reasons behind this trend is follow moral values along with the spread cultures. Nevertheless some individuals believe that they choose things by themselves and the reasons of this phenomena is freedom and personality development.
The significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which was debatable has become more controversial with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming that it is beneficial by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reject this notion. IT
is argued
that, certain masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that youngster should follow traditions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
others
believe that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be free to be masses. This essay will elaborate both views in the following paragraph
Possible spelling mistake found.
beforereaching
a logical conclusion. To commence with,
undoubtedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most preponderant one stems from the fact
that is
moral values. To be precise, if mature person learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
their traditions to their
next
generation in the future. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this, they connect the roots of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for future. Another fundamental aspects of this trend is of spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In more detail, if we wear traditional clothes and go outside to their country.
Thus
, they know
easily
that we are Indian.
However
, if any tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
India and
they go diverse locations in India like Golden temple,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tajmahal
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Haveli
etc. for providing information related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Due to this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
respect
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
parents along with elders. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
viewpoints.
First
and foremost one is independent. To elaborate more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be free to choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion regarding any work.
Moreover
, they have a freedom to choose their ability. Another aspects of this trend is personality development. In fact, if any youngsters can go outside to their Nations.
Hence
, they can influence by others like their style and way of talking. They can copy it. They follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries traditions with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this.
To conclude
, after pondering a great deal of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, the main reasons behind this trend is follow moral values along with the spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that they choose things by themselves and the reasons of
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena is freedom and personality development.
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IELTS essay I think that junk paper should be follow traditions while others think that young people should be free to be individuals described both view points.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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