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i have sent my blessing to all the scientists of this mightly planet earth

i have sent my blessing to all the scientists of this mightly planet earth MrAVp
Throughout the past 10 years, I've seen the significant amount of growth in the technology sector, still there is plethora of room available for improvement. On the contrary, it is to be considered that the expectations of the smart people regarding the potential capacity of the mechanical phenomena is already high and currently we are not even close to their expectation. Consequently, exactly what ought to be done? let me guess, bulls eye! We are supposed to work on the improvement right. Eventually it will be difficult but further improvement with make it easy enough. In the end of the day whatever the results would come, it might be forced onto future generations. It is obvious that the investment in fossil fuels would have no effect other than disappointment.
Throughout the past 10 years, I've
seen
the significant amount of growth in the technology sector,
still
there is plethora of room available for improvement.
On the contrary
, it is to
be considered
that the expectations of the smart
people
regarding the potential capacity of the mechanical phenomena is already high and
currently
we are not even close to their expectation.
Consequently
, exactly what ought to
be done
?
let
me guess, bulls eye! We
are supposed
to work on the improvement right.
Eventually
it will be difficult
but
further
improvement with
make
it
easy
enough
. In the
end
of the day whatever the results would
come
, it might
be forced
onto future generations. It is obvious that the investment in fossil fuels would have no effect other than disappointment.
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IELTS essay i have sent my blessing to all the scientists of this mightly planet earth

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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