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I believe that parents put too much pressure on their kids.

I believe that parents put too much pressure on their kids. Xqm8A
Parents consistently need their children to be fruitful in all things. We learn from them first social stances and the proper behavior in public. Be that as it may, their expectations can be a lot higher than the abilities of the kids. I believe that parents put too much pressure on their kids. Firstly, the amount of work that parents put on kids is sometimes overwhelming. For instance lack of free time, which could be spent on hobbies. Instead of that, you are ought to chase dreams of your parents, not yours. Too much work and chronic stress destroy the child from the inside. Which leads us to second argument which is constant pressure and stress that have several negative health outcomes. As a result of it, both mental and psychical problems can occur such as chronic backpain, from learning in a sitting position or even may result in a poor academic performance. Children are prone to emotional disturbances, which may cause problems in relationship with their parents. Secondly, as I mentioned earlier parents putting too much pressure causes severe parent-son/daughter relationship loss. Sometimes to the extent of hate from one of the sides. Moreover, there is a risk of mental illness such as depression or other mental condition caused by chronic family clashes. Another major effect of such pressure is losing trust of own kid. Not allowing child to freedom of choice, important decisions and so on is destined to fail, as those are the things that build trust. In conclusion, parents shouldn’t put too much pressure on their children, as it may result in mental and psychical problems as well as family clashes that can lead to relationship losses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
consistently
need their children to be fruitful in all things. We learn from them
first
social stances and the proper behavior in public. Be that as it may, their expectations can be a lot higher than the abilities of the kids. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on their kids.

Firstly
, the amount of work that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put on kids is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
overwhelming.
For instance
lack of free time, which could
be spent
on hobbies.
Instead
of that, you are ought to chase dreams of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, not yours. Too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
work and chronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the child from the inside. Which leads us to second argument which is constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
health outcomes.
As a result
of it, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and psychical problems can occur such as chronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
backpain
, from learning in a sitting position or even may result in a poor academic performance. Children are prone to emotional disturbances, which may cause problems in relationship with their parents.

Secondly
, as I mentioned earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
putting too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
causes severe parent-son/daughter relationship loss.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
to the extent of hate from one of the sides.
Moreover
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
illness such as depression or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
condition caused by chronic family clashes. Another major effect of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
is losing trust of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
kid. Not allowing child to freedom of choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
is destined
to fail, as those are the things that build trust.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
shouldn’t put too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on their children, as it may result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and psychical problems
as well
as family clashes that can lead to relationship losses.
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IELTS essay I believe that parents put too much pressure on their kids.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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