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Humans are fully responsible for

Humans are fully responsible for xDlD9
Humans are fully responsible for the damage of environment. For more than a decade people have been ignoring the nature. From my point of view, I believe that the government in every countries must play the important role to think about the solutions and educate their national about the cause of nature problems. Which will be demonstrated in the following paragraphs. The cause of environmental problems could be the simply things that we always do as our lifestyle, such as the over use of electricity since it is consume a lot of fuel to produce and cause a tons of toxic gas which is harmful for health. Moreover, in some countries, where imports the garbage to destroy by burning process also rise the amount of pm2. 5 which is the micro pollution and it is able to cause lung problems. The factories also conduct a vast of chemical waste and release it to the sea, many species are suffered by those substances. However, the authorities could provide the useful solutions, such as creating the new innovation to destroy the waste properly and safe for environment. Encouragement for people and young generations about the way to improve the problems is also necessary, since they will become adult who will solve the long term problems. The government needs to increase the green places such as botanic gardens around the city to rise the habitats for animals and provide fresh air for people. In addition, creating the legal punishment for whom, who might not follow the restrictions is a must. To conclude, this problems required a collaboration between government and national. If we both have the same vision we will be able to go through the environment problems and change to world to be a better place.
Humans are
fully
responsible for the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
environment. For more than a decade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been ignoring the nature. From my point of view, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
play the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the solutions and educate their national about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of nature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
will
be demonstrated
in the following paragraphs.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
could be the
simply
things that we always do as our lifestyle, such as the over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electricity since it is
Consider using a past participle here: "consumed".
consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fuel to produce and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a ton" or simply "tons"?
a tons
of toxic gas which is harmful for health.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, where imports the garbage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
by burning process
also
rise the amount of pm2. 5 which is the micro pollution and it is able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
lung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The factories
also
conduct a vast of chemical waste and release it to the sea,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species
are suffered
by those substances.

However
, the authorities could provide the useful solutions, such as creating the new innovation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the waste
properly
and safe for environment. Encouragement for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and young generations about the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is
also
necessary, since they will become adult who will solve the long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to increase the green places such as botanic gardens around the city to rise the habitats for animals and provide fresh air for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, creating the legal punishment for whom, who might not follow the restrictions is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
required a collaboration between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and national. If we both have the same vision we will be able to go through the environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to world to be a better place.
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IELTS essay Humans are fully responsible for

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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