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Human rights violation is a serious issue today. What rights do you believe children should have and why

Human rights violation is a serious issue today. What rights do you believe children should have and why do7O7
[11: 20, 11/05/2021] Lalkishen: In this modernized world, human rights are fundamental rights of each and every one irrespective of nationality, religion, language and color. civil liberty infringement is a controversial topic in current situation. this essay will discuss my view about the rights children should have and the reasons to hold the right. At a glance, children are entitled to all the rights guaranteed by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) and the various treaties that have developed from it. Children should have the right to study. The main reason is, most of the parents in developing countries force their children to work because of their financial situation. In addition to that education is the most powerful weapon that a man can hold in today’s world and will help them to enhance the child’s lifestyle. For instance, Dr. B. R Ambedkar who formulated the Indian constitution was able to achieve high endeavors in life only with the support of education he had inspite of his poor family background. On deeper inspection, children in most of developing countries are grown up without proper sanitary conditions. it is essential that children must have the right to proper sanitary conditions. The main reason is that, they are more at risk to illness and health complications and easily get affected by diseases like cholera, dengue. In addition to that, When children are spared from disease, they can grow into healthy adults, and contribute to the nations growth. For example, an article in TIMES TODAY states that in 2013, 2. 9 million children died because of malaria, diarrhoeal diseases because of the poor sanitary conditions. In my view children should have the right o study and proper sanitary conditions. In conclusion, this essay discussed my view about the rights children should have and the reasons to hold the right.
[11: 20,
The given date is in the future, but the verb is in past tense.
11/05/2021
]
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lalkishen
: In this modernized world, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
are fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
of
Consider using "each one".
each and every one
irrespective of nationality, religion, language and color.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
civil
liberty infringement is a controversial topic in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will discuss my view about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to hold the right.

At a glance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are entitled
to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
guaranteed by the Universal Declaration of Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rights
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
UDHR
) and the various treaties that have developed from it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to study. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is, most of the parents in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their financial situation.
In addition
to that education is the most powerful weapon that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can hold in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to enhance the child’s lifestyle.
For instance
, Dr. B. R
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambedkar
who formulated the Indian constitution was able to achieve high endeavors in life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with the support of education he had
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspite
of his poor family background.

On deeper inspection,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are grown
up without proper sanitary conditions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to proper sanitary conditions. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that, they are more at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to illness and health complications and
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by diseases like cholera, dengue.
In addition
to that, When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are spared
from disease, they can grow into healthy adults, and contribute to the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
growth.
For example
, an article in TIMES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
states that in 2013, 2. 9 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of malaria,
Possible spelling mistake. 'diarrhoeal' is British English.
diarrhoeal
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the poor sanitary conditions. In my view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
o study and proper sanitary conditions.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed my view about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
.
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IELTS essay Human rights violation is a serious issue today. What rights do you believe children should have and why

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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