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How will this scholarship contribute to the organisation's human resource development needs*?

How will this scholarship contribute to the organisation's human resource development needs*? D6aR6

I plan to study geology hazards with support from this scholarship, and will benefit much towards contributing to human resource development in my institute. Because we lack technical knowledge with master's level education and who can be expert in landslide disasters management. The scholarship would help my institution to provide a hazards management expert who could implement practical skills and knowledge to develop landslides research. By studying, I will be focusing on transferring the skills and knowledge to staff by creating training and discussions about this work.

I plan to study geology hazards with support from this scholarship, and will benefit much towards contributing to human resource development in my institute. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
Because
 we lack technical knowledge with master's level education and who can be expert in landslide disasters management. The scholarship would This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 my institution to provide a Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "hazards'" or "hazard's"?hazards'hazard's
hazards
 management expert who could implement practical This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skills
 and knowledge to develop landslides research. By studying, I will be focusing on transferring the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skills
 and knowledge to staff by creating training and discussions about this work. 

IELTS essay How will this scholarship contribute to the organisation's human resource development needs*?

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

87 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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