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How well do you think schools prepare young people for working life? Do you think schools should teach subjects like art, music, and dancing? Why (not)? How important is it for schools to have computers for their success? Is the internet a valuable education tool?

How well do you think schools prepare young people for working life? Do you think schools should teach subjects like art, music, and dancing? Why (not)? How important is it for schools to have computers for their success? Is the internet a valuable education tool? PVVJ2
The key to success has always been studying, keep working hard to gain a higher knowledge will lead you to the climate of repuation. Therefore, education is one of the indispensable steps in the process of practicing being effective. Each country's education builds on different foundations of the way and the learning process. However, education has been changed eventually in my country in the last ten years. Through many decades ago, education didn't changed much about the methods and reflex. about the methods and reflex. Students kept studying in the same way. Because of patterned learning, students lack of ability to practice than theory. But these years, education has changed generally to improve more practical skills for students. Some schools have strengthened their practice well but, above all, students still have to practice well theoretical skills. Educational has changed the curriculum from year to another year, each learning material will be published differently. As people know that, before being an adults, anyone must has study how to write and read. Lose one of that skill, no one can become successful in life. To be more clearly, schools should prepare young people, for working life. Schools are considered our second home. In addition, to starting from those basic skills, many schools hold vocational sessions for students. Each year, careers guidance went to schools to teach students about career courses for the future. It's very helpful for those who completely didn't know anythings about strengths of ourself. Using this ways to deal with the knowledge of every students, it will make the mindset of students think in positive ways. Moreover, schools should also teach subjects like art, music and dancing. But as the sensitive thoughts of students when they was in primary and junior highschool. Some students might be fed up with learning one of the subjects like that. Being dreadful for studying many skills such as drawing and singing seems happend in every student. But these recent days, that issues was not a problem anymore because students can attend to many subjects like that after schedual at school. Some talented studetns would be victorious beyond their thought if someone training them in specific ways. Education has also provided the opportunity for students to improve their skills since they were in lower grades. Helping to develop holistically was very important in nowaday's educational program. During the focus of education, using the technology for learning such as computer for study also important. Mostly, parents have negative thinking about their children using the Internet in wrong ways but that's one way of looking at it, however, these days, computers is one of the indispentable tools for learning. During the Covid-19, education use the method of learning on the Internet to teach students. But there are two sides of it. Learning online could be interest to some students but some students have lack of money to buy some tools for study, it seems easier for some students like that because education made possible for students such as awarding scholarships for students to motivate them. Schools usually use the computers to train students about soft skills of creating programm. Regarding to that, the Internet becomes a valuable education tool for every students all over the countries. Besides the focus of education and learning tools. In my opinion, good education important for both boys and girls. In the last ten years, people still think in an old fashioned ways about having a higher degree just for boys but actually in the recent days, gain more and more knowledge are acceptable for both. Girls can be professional of discovering or learning higher levels. Girls can gain a highest diploma these days. Proove is some some doctors are women, some experts are also women either. The knowledge growing every single days so there is no doubt about the right of studying for both boys and girls. To summarize, the changing of education is becoming positive ways day through day. Schools prepare working life before they become an adult, many subjects like art, music and dancing could help people figure out the talented students in schools. The internet is a valuable education tool especially through the Covid-19. For myself, the attitudes to education has changed completely in the last ten years and it also the perfection of connecting the reflex of practice and the methods for using the theory learning.
The key to success has always been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to gain a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
will lead you to the climate of
Possible spelling mistake found.
repuation
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is one of the indispensable steps in the process of practicing being effective. Each country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
builds on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
foundations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
eventually
in my country in the last ten years. Through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
didn't
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "change"
changed
much about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
and reflex.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
about
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
and reflex.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of patterned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lack of ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
than theory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
generally
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
more practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have strengthened their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
above all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
well theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Educational has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the curriculum from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
material will
be published
differently
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an adult" or simply "adults"?
an adults
, anyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
The verb 'must' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
study how to write and read. Lose one of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, no one can become successful in life. To be more
clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should prepare young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, for working life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are considered
our second home.
In addition
, to starting from those basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
hold vocational sessions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, careers guidance went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about career courses for the future. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for those who completely didn't know anythings about strengths of
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
. Using
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "student"?
students
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the mindset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "thinks"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'think' is not always incorrect.)
think
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
also
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like art, music and dancing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as the sensitive thoughts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
in primary and junior
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
be fed
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like that. Being dreadful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as drawing and singing seems
Possible spelling mistake found.
happend
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these recent days, that issues was not a problem anymore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can attend to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like that after
Possible spelling mistake found.
schedual
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
talented
Possible spelling mistake found.
studetns
would be victorious beyond their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "trains", "trained".
training
them in specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
has
also
provided the opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
since they were in lower grades. Helping to develop
holistically
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
's educational program. During the focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, using the technology for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
such as computer for study
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Mostly
, parents have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thinking about their children using the Internet in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that's one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of looking at it,
however
, these days, computers is one of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispentable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. During the Covid-19,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
on the Internet to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are two sides of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
online could be interest to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have lack of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
for study, it seems easier for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
made possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
such as awarding scholarships for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to motivate them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computers to train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of creating
Possible spelling mistake found.
programm
.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
that, the Internet becomes a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "student"?
students
all over the countries.
Besides
the focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. In the last ten years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in an
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "way"?
ways
about having a higher degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for boys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
actually in the recent days, gain more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
are acceptable for both.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
can be professional of discovering or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
higher levels.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
can gain
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest diploma these days.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Proove
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
doctors are women,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts are
also
women either. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
growing every single days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no doubt about the right of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
for both boys and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
To summarize
, the changing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "ways'" or "way's"?
ways
day through day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
prepare working life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they become an adult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like art, music and dancing could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
figure out the talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The internet is a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
especially
through the Covid-19. For myself, the attitudes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely in the last ten years and it
also
the perfection of connecting the reflex of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
for using the theory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
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IELTS essay How well do you think schools prepare young people for working life? Do you think schools should teach subjects like art, music, and dancing? Why (not)? How important is it for schools to have computers for their success? Is the internet a valuable education tool?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
730 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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