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How to get a proper job is necessary for you to bemy wife in the last list

How to get a proper job is necessary for you to bemy wife in the last list KGqkN
This is currently contentious argument over whether should be a sense of competition encouraged or children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adult. In my own perspective, co-operation between each other is extremely necessary. Firstly. A numerous people have a confidence to gear up a students for the competition. The reason is that they will try to beat one another and became more experiencful in the future. On the other hand, In these cases we are unable to create a unity between them. They only work for their own purpose. Furthermore, A number of people think that co-operation awareness is more suitable rather than competition. It is more useful because students will help to each other. For example, When a student need a help of their fellow. He will share the knowledge and solve their problem. In this way a good environment and brotherhood ralation will build between them. In conclusion, It is not appropriate idea that held a competition. A student must help to each other.
This is
currently
contentious argument over whether should be a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
encouraged or children who
are taught
to co-operate
rather
than compete become more useful adult. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, co-operation between each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is
extremely
necessary.

Firstly
. A numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a confidence to gear up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. The reason is that they will try to beat one another and became more
Possible spelling mistake found.
experiencful
in the future. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, In these cases we are unable to create a unity between them. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purpose.

Furthermore
, A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that co-operation awareness is more suitable
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. It is more useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For example
, When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their fellow. He will share the knowledge and solve their problem. In this way a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment and brotherhood
Possible spelling mistake found.
ralation
will build between them.

In conclusion
, It is not appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that held a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.

IELTS essay How to get a proper job is necessary for you to bemy wife in the last list

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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