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how people see me and what I think

how people see me and what I think 3LdaJ
I'm a pretty friendly girl and almost everyone likes me, pretty sure everyone likes to play with me but I never stop being curious what people think of me, sometimes I'm studying for an exam. I have a group of friends but somehow that group of friends didn't invite me to study with them. I doubt it too but I doubt if I did something wrong or the group of friends really don't like me and I really scared other people eyes every time when I go out people always looking at me I don’t know what are they thinking. Let's analyze and find out. Firstly, let's analyze my house. I live in a small flat with my mom, dad and my little sister. I’m the first child so me and my little sister is really different although we have the same bloodline. Let’s start with me, I’m a 14 years old girl so being bossy is very normal because I’m the first child so I’m a confident girl and open-minded on the other hand my little sister is a shy girl but she very fair, example that my mom just came back from a holiday and she bought for me and my little sister 3 bar of chocolate a normal kid would definitely give me 1 stick but my little sister wouldn't, my little sister would break a stick into 2 or give my mom one. She is patient too she will definitely waited until I finished my lesson before playing the game because my little sister was afraid that if she watched it, it would bother me, so I learn a lot from my little sister. Secondly let talk about my friends, I have many friends but generally the one that closest to me is Linh or you can call Link I usually call her “Honey” I think she and me have many same personality although we don’t live in a same house. Linh is a energetic, generous and pretty girl. She always looking energy she is a smart girl when I don’t know how that thing work or how to do it I usually ask her. She has a lot sense of humor she always know how to make other people laugh she also give me a lot of experience so that I don't make Linh's old mistakes again and I learn a lot from her too. In conclusion to summary all of the ideas we can see that I have many good personality so how can other people hate a good girl like me? When I recall the facial expressions of people looking at me, I see in their eyes the love and respect for me, some people look at me more fiercely but sometimes it scares me. I hope my hypothesis is correct.
I'm a pretty friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
and almost everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
me, pretty sure everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likes
to play with me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
being curious what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of me,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I'm studying for an exam. I have a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
somehow that group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
didn't invite me to study with them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
doubt it too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I doubt if I did something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or the group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
really
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
me and I
really
scared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
eyes
every time when I go out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always looking at me I don’t know what are they thinking.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's analyze and find out.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's analyze my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
flat with my mom, dad and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
. I’m the
first
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
me and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
although we have the same bloodline.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with me, I’m a 14 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
being bossy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I’m the
first
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I’m a confident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
and open-minded on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
is a shy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that a verb is missing.
she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, example that my mom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
came back from a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
holiday and
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
for me and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
3 bar of chocolate a normal kid would definitely give me 1 stick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
wouldn't, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
would break a stick into 2 or give my mom one. She is patient too she will definitely
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "wait"
waited
until I finished my lesson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
playing the game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
was afraid that if she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
it, it would bother me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
.
Secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
talk about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
generally
the one that closest to me is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh
or you can call Link I
usually
call her “Honey” I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
she and me have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
same personality although we don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
energetic, generous and pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
.
Did you mean "She's always looking", "She is always looking", or "She was always looking"?
She always looking
energy she is a smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
when I don’t know how that thing work or how to do it I
usually
ask her. She has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
sense of humor she always
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "knows", "knew".
know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
laugh she
also
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gives", "gave".
give
me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linh
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
mistakes again and I learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
from her too.

In conclusion
to summary
Consider using "all the".
all of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hate a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
like
me? When I recall the facial expressions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
looking at me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in their eyes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and respect for me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look at me more
fiercely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it scares me. I hope my hypothesis is correct.
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IELTS essay how people see me and what I think

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
468 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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