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some people say some experience can be harmful, while others believe otherwise. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

some people say some experience can be harmful, while others believe otherwise. lR0WX
It is argued negative or harmful consequences could be received by those who want to experience different things. I advocate the idea that this situation can be immensely harmful to these people, and they might lose a better opportunity in their lives. Many individuals tend to drive fast because it is extremely intriguing, while it can easily hurt others. In this regard, people are influenced by video games and movies that show action scenes. Since these situations are attractive and interesting, many people admire those artists or characteristics doing the movements, encouraging audiences, particularly those who spend more time for these leisure activities, to experience or act like them. As a result, many teenagers and adults try to drive fast in the streets, which mostly causes car accidents that not only harm them but also they might hit others. Therefore, it seems driving fast is an utterly wrong thing to experience. Some of the teenagers leave schools to work and gain money in order to purchase the required goods. Accordingly, many items, including phones, laptops, and cars, are provided to teens by their reach families, while others are deprived of these facilities. Thus, they are more likely to leave schools to fulfill their requirements. However, they are not aware of the consequences, which means if they continue their educations, they definitely could find an excellent job with a convenient salary that allows them to buy many tools or items. Indeed, a better job opportunity in future contributes to finding their place in society, making them a successful entrepreneur that helps many others. In conclusion, although some experiences might be exciting or interesting, I believe these experiences' drawbacks are far more.
It
is argued
negative
or harmful consequences could
be received
by those who want to experience
different
things. I advocate the
idea
that this situation can be
immensely
harmful to these
people
, and they might lose a better opportunity in their
lives
.

Many
individuals tend to drive
fast
because
it is
extremely
intriguing, while it can
easily
hurt others. In this regard,
people
are influenced
by video games and movies that
show
action scenes. Since these situations are attractive and interesting,
many
people
admire those artists or characteristics doing the movements, encouraging audiences,
particularly
those who spend more time for these leisure activities, to experience or act like them.
As a result
,
many
teenagers
and adults try to drive
fast
in the streets, which
mostly
causes car accidents that not
only
harm them
but
also
they might hit others.
Therefore
, it seems driving
fast
is an
utterly
wrong
thing to experience.

Some of the
teenagers
leave
schools to work and gain money in order to
purchase
the required
goods
.
Accordingly
,
many
items, including phones, laptops, and cars,
are provided
to teens by their reach families, while others
are deprived
of these facilities.
Thus
, they are more likely to
leave
schools to fulfill their requirements.
However
, they are not aware of the consequences, which means if they continue their educations, they definitely could find an excellent job with a convenient salary that
allows
them to
buy
many
tools or items.
Indeed
, a better job opportunity in future contributes to finding their place in society, making them a successful entrepreneur that
helps
many
others.

In conclusion
, although
some
experiences might be exciting or interesting, I believe these experiences' drawbacks are far more.
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IELTS essay some people say some experience can be harmful, while others believe otherwise.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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