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how much do you think violence affect on the media

how much do you think violence affect on the media 0Eeg5
There is an argument that violence has a huge impact on the society. Many people believe that violence springs from films or on the television and humans, especially children, who easily apply violence into the real life. Community believes that violence is the primary factor for social problems. Personally, I am convinced that violence has made the world get worse. First, the main point of violence is social media. Many children spend thousands of hours watching films and think that violence is partly cool consequently they also want to bully the others. School violence is also originated in friends who are divided into many groups based on many reasons such as family backgrounds, academic success. Besides, many people who based on the freedom of speech to attack the others online, this is also one kind of violence. Violence has made many unappreciated consequences. One of the most serious results is committing suicide. Victims of violence usually get under the pressure and stress. That is the reason why they do not want to continue their life. Some of them have a thought that they are useless, and they have a tendency to be more unconfident with everything. It has a large effect on their future, it is difficult for them to do anything and get success. In conclusion, violence is one of the most concerned problems that the government should play an important role to solve this circumstance. I believe that the fundamental reason of this problem is the cognition of people, especially the younger. In my opinion, when establishing any videos or films, the producers have to consider the content and it will partly help the human life.
There is an argument that
violence
has a huge impact on the society.
Many
people
believe that
violence
springs from films or on the television and humans,
especially
children, who
easily
apply
violence
into the real life. Community believes that
violence
is the primary factor for social problems.
Personally
, I
am convinced
that
violence
has made the world
get
worse.

First
, the main point of
violence
is social media.
Many
children spend thousands of hours watching films and
think
that
violence
is partly cool
consequently
they
also
want to bully the others. School
violence
is
also
originated in friends who
are divided
into
many
groups based on
many
reasons such as family backgrounds, academic success.
Besides
,
many
people
who based on the freedom of speech to attack the others online, this is
also
one kind of violence.

Violence has made
many
unappreciated consequences. One of the most serious results is committing suicide. Victims of
violence
usually
get
under the pressure and
stress
.
That is
the reason why they do not want to continue their life.
Some
of them have a
thought
that they are useless, and they have a tendency to be more unconfident with everything. It has a large effect on their future, it is difficult for them to do anything and
get
success.
In conclusion
,
violence
is one of the most concerned problems that the
government
should play an
important
role to solve this circumstance. I believe that the fundamental reason of this problem is the cognition of
people
,
especially
the younger. In my opinion, when establishing any videos or films, the producers
have to
consider the content and it will partly
help
the human life.
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IELTS essay how much do you think violence affect on the media

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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