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How jobs behave around the world?

How jobs behave around the world? 25oLx
Unfortunately, studies say that companies wages are a method of exploiting people's potencial. . Employability balances a country economy. Will we be able to have a permanent job at some point or is it the people or government's fault? An academic study made in China confirms that labor was reduced, being the higher cause of unemployment. The employability is fundamental for the country since it is the GDP that is the consumer's expenditure. If they do not sell they do not invest the capital because of the lack of consumers, these problems are the reason for unemployment. As economic experts say, having education is what can best ensure a job and the desire to work. The most affected country due to the lack of occupation is South Africa with arate of 23. 3%. The countries goal is to provide jobs and according to the experts most of them are women, so in some it is stipulated that by 2030 about 600 million additional jobs will be developed, a solution that was set by the World Bank to support countries with business. Certain countries have higher unemployment rates than others, this is the case of Greece (16. 8%) Spain (16. 5%), Brazil (14. 4%), being the ones following after South Africa. It is important to update your resume and make a basic cover letter with all the relevant data depending on the job you want to get. You can also make use of the websites to search for positions. From the other side, if you already know or have an idea of a company you want to work for, just search for their official website and send your application. There are many without a job all around the world. But the governments are trying to look for a solution that is effective. The solution they offer by now is looking for another job but, this solution is not effective because many people are looking for one and there are not that many opportunities. It is estimated that in 5 years from now technology and eletronic devices will sustitute the man power. The pandemic has affected the economy in many ways but technology is a good solution right now providing better technology and electronic devices will sustitute the man power, skills and education to one billion people by 2030. I believe that the lack of unemployment is something that we have to think about constantly since it not only affects the economy of the countries but also affects families that in some way have a need, so we have to be aware of this and above all see how it evolves since we must take care that this does not implement in a negative way since as we saw there are countries affected such as South Africa with a rate of 23. 3%. of lack of work. Finally, unemployment is a serious global problem that affects us in many ways, so we must raise awareness of these issues and above all support each other so that we do not have to live through this as a society.
Unfortunately, studies say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
wages are a method of exploiting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
potencial
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Employability balances a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy. Will we be able to have a permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point or is it the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's fault?

An academic study made in China confirms that labor was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, being the higher cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. The employability is fundamental for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
since it is the GDP
that is
the consumer's expenditure.

If they do not sell they do not invest the capital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of consumers, these problems are the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. As economic experts say, having education is what can best ensure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the desire to work. The most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of occupation is South Africa with
Possible spelling mistake found.
arate
of 23. 3%.

The
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
goal is to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and according to the experts most of them are women,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it
is stipulated
that by 2030 about 600 million additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will
be developed
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
that
was set
by the World Bank to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with business. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rates than others, this is the case of Greece (16. 8%) Spain (16. 5%), Brazil (14. 4%), being the ones following after South Africa.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to update your resume and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a basic cover letter with all the relevant data depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
. You can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the websites to search for positions. From the other side, if you already know or have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
you want to work for,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
search for their official website and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
your application.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
all around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are trying to look for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
that is
effective. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
they offer by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is looking for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is not effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are looking for one and there are not that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities. It
is estimated
that in 5 years from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
technology and
Possible spelling mistake found.
eletronic
devices will
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustitute
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power. The pandemic has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the economy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
technology is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
providing better technology and electronic devices will
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustitute
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and education to one billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by 2030.

I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
is something that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
constantly
since it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affects families that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
have a need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware of this and
above all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how it evolves since we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care that this does not implement in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
since as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
such as South Africa with a rate of 23. 3%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of work.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
is a serious global problem that affects us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
raise awareness of these issues and
above all
support each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
through this as a society.
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IELTS essay How jobs behave around the world?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
515 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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