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How is a person’s worth valued?

How is a person’s worth valued? D69NA
In this essay I will write about what for me is worth looking for in a person and how other people may see you is not truly somebody’s value. As time passes it seems as if people have stopped caring about other people’s morals and how much they really say about each one of us and that is affecting society in a way that we no longer search for honest and kind relationships. While growing up we are taught that we must be good to receive the same, but generally speaking, children nowadays care more about having lots of friends rather than truly worthy people that will and want to help you to grow. I can undoubtedly say that the kind of people you are with are in a way a reflection of how we feel and how we want to be treated, so that being said, we should start looking for someone who care more about their values rather than their social status or their possessions because to me that says nothing about who we are. For example, someone who has a lot of money worth of belongings but no friends will not be as happy as somebody who hangs out with his friends every afternoon to talk and laugh. From my point of view we should personally start growing friendships with individuals that transmit to you happiness and that demonstrate that they like you for who you are and not for what you have so that following this, we can then improve as a whole society.
In this essay I will write about what for me is worth looking for in a person and how other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "am", "are", "aren"
is
not
truly
somebody’s value.

As time passes it seems as if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
caring about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
morals and how much they
really
say about each one of us and
that is
affecting society in a way that we no longer search for honest and kind relationships.

While growing up we
are taught
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to receive the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
generally
speaking, children nowadays care more about having lots of friends
rather
than
truly
worthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that will and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to grow.

I can
undoubtedly
say that the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you are with are in a way a reflection of how we feel and how we want to
be treated
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
being said
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
looking for someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
care more about their values
rather
than their social status or their possessions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to me that says nothing about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
we are.

For example
, someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money worth of belongings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no friends will not be as happy as somebody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
hangs out with his friends every afternoon to talk and laugh.

From my point of view we should
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
growing friendships with individuals that transmit to you happiness and that demonstrate that they like you for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
you are and not for what you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that following this, we can then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
as a whole society.
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IELTS essay How is a person’s worth valued?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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