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How has fashion changed through time?

How has fashion changed through time? NVpqd
Many times ago, clothing was a simple need for human. They held the firm belief that people need just some pieces of clothing to cover and protect themselves from harsh weather, injuries, insect bites and so on. Nonetheless, today that attitude has changed. According to some evidences, it seems that, people want to impart a plenty of messages and also they tend to illustrate their personality, idealogy and even amount of their assets. Furthermore, clothing became to an astonishing industry. After a while, a huge number of people attempted to keep up with fashion. In my honest opinion, although this lifestyle and additionally being on trend is not a bad habit, unfortunately, it is an against the values and norms of a number of communities. I extremely believe that, owning to some human personality features particularly teenagers, it can make numerous significant problems if governors do not educate properly and appropriately the public.
Many
times ago, clothing was a simple need for human. They held the firm belief that
people
need
just
some
pieces of clothing to cover and protect themselves from harsh weather, injuries, insect bites and
so
on. Nonetheless,
today
that attitude has
changed
. According to
some
evidences, it seems that,
people
want to impart a
plenty
of messages and
also
they tend to illustrate their personality,
idealogy
and even amount of their assets.
Furthermore
, clothing became to an astonishing industry. After a while, a huge number of
people
attempted to
keep
up with fashion. In my honest opinion, although this lifestyle and
additionally
being on trend is not a
bad
habit, unfortunately, it is an against the values and norms of a number of communities. I
extremely
believe that, owning to
some
human personality features
particularly
teenagers
, it can
make
numerous significant problems if governors do not educate
properly
and
appropriately
the public.
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IELTS essay How has fashion changed through time?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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