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How do you think movies and TV can influence the behaviour of ordinary people?

How do you think movies and TV can influence the behaviour of ordinary people? YBj3Q
Today, movies and TV programs are one of the leading priorities of many people's entertainment globally, which can influence the behaviour of ordinary people, even sometimes affect special people. However, it significantly depends on the quality and concept of subjects and their audience's mood. First, given that a person's social behaviour and personality are started to shape at the first stage of their1lives, one issue should be clarified, Kids are undoubtedly influenced by movies, so parents must pay attention to the allowed age of the movies to them. People often perceive movies with their feelings, which can have both positive or adverse effects. In particular, kids are more prone to the risk. For instance, kids always like to play the role of Batman or Spiderman to do similar actions like jumping from a height, and then it can pose a serious threat to the non allowed age of kids. Generally, great movie authors write a screenplay in such a way that influences your mind and behaviour. To illustrate, sometimes love is shaped in individuals hearts after watching "Titanic", and a normal relationship is drowned in love and changed to a pleasing alliance. Besides, someone likes to drive very fast and make hazardous movements on public streets, such as drifting after watching "Fast and furious" film. To sum up, media influence on people's behaviour is a crucial issue, people's lives have been integrated with the media, and the impact of the media on people's behaviour can be dangerous and should be planed due to the wide range of viewers from children to the elderly.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and TV programs are one of the leading priorities of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
entertainment globally, which can influence the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
affect special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, it
significantly
depends on the quality and concept of subjects and their audience's mood.

First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that a person's social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and personality are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to shape at the
first
stage of their1lives, one issue should
be clarified
, Kids are
undoubtedly
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay attention to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
perceive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with their feelings, which can have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or adverse effects.
In particular
, kids are more prone to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
For instance
, kids always like to play the role of Batman or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spiderman
to do similar actions like jumping from a height, and then it can pose a serious threat to the non
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
age of kids.

Generally
, great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
authors write a screenplay in such a way that influences your mind and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is shaped
in individuals hearts after watching
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Titanic
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, and a normal relationship
is drowned
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to a pleasing alliance.
Besides
, someone likes to drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
hazardous movements on public streets, such as drifting after watching
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
and furious
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
film.

To sum up, media influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is a crucial issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have
been integrated
with the media, and the impact of the media on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and should
be planed
due to the wide range of viewers from children to the elderly.
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IELTS essay How do you think movies and TV can influence the behaviour of ordinary people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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