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convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods

convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods x2XQ9
Nowadays, there is a common opinion that traditional food is moving away, giving their place to fast food and convenience food. I somehow agree with this opinion. Firstly, there is time shortage which has made more and more people to head towards consuming food that is prepared in a blink of an eye. In today’s modern world, the number of men and women who work full-time is rising, because a family’s expenditure isn't like the past and in order to accomplish the modern lifestyle’s needs, you have to work double or triple times more than before. This leads to adults having less spare time, thus, they prefer to make the best of this little time, instead of wasting it on food preparation. Secondly, it is the matter of price. Making a delicious meal, indeed, requires several fresh ingredients, and these, of course, cost a lot. For instance, for preparing a bowl of macaroni, you have to buy fresh meat, onions and etc. In comparison, a pack of meat snack would cost much cheaper. However, there are many people who care about the taste of the food and their health more than the two factors mentioned above. Unfortunately, these premade foods are not very high in calorie value. Most of them lack essential resources such as Proteins and Carbohydrates. Therefore, they are less healthy than casual foods. On the other hand, you can’t compare the taste of a homemade meal to any packs of convenience food. The scent and the taste of fresh food are what make a person start preparing a lunch or dinner. Overall, we can’t ignore the feeling of relief after eating a ready meal in the middle of a busy workday. As far as I'm concerned, convenience food can’t be put aside entirely. The key is to make a balance. We should focus our meals on homemade food as much as it is feasible, and not feel guilty for consuming convenience food on busy days.
Nowadays, there is a common opinion that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is moving away, giving their place to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Firstly
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
shortage which has made more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to head towards consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that
is prepared
in a blink of an eye. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who work full-time is rising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a family’s expenditure isn't like the past and in order to accomplish the modern lifestyle’s needs, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work double or triple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This leads to adults having less spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
thus
, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
instead
of wasting it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation.

Secondly
, it is the matter of price. Making a delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
,
indeed
, requires several fresh ingredients, and these,
of course
, cost a lot.
For instance
, for preparing a bowl of macaroni, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fresh meat, onions
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
In comparison
, a pack of meat snack would cost much cheaper.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who care about the taste of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and their health more than the two factors mentioned above. Unfortunately, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
premade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high in calorie value. Most of them lack essential resources such as Proteins and Carbohydrates.
Therefore
, they are less healthy than casual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
On the other hand
, you can’t compare the taste of a homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
to any packs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The scent and the taste of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
preparing a lunch or dinner.

Overall
, we can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the feeling of relief after eating a ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
in the middle of a busy workday. As far as I'm concerned,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can’t
be put
aside
entirely
. The key is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a balance. We should focus our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
on homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as much as it is feasible, and not feel guilty for consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on busy days.
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IELTS essay convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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