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How do people in your culture show good manners towards others?

How do people in your culture show good manners towards others? gbYMg
There are many ways that Iranians display their kindness and good behaviors. Showing good manners has past history in Iran, because of its roots in religion, tradition, and culture in Iran, even though it has advantages and drawbacks. I will consider all opinions then give my view. Islam says, if you have good manners with others, God will send you to heaven. People are intolerant of Islam in Iran. It is kinda bad, however, we can see good effects of it rarely in Iran. For instance, when you go to a celebration and the host offers you to pick up these candies, at first, you have to say no thanks and after as you are offered again, you can pick up some candies. It is a sophisticated situation and all the time you must be in bother; in addition, you want everybody to have a good thought about you. generally, people don’t want to be their own selves. On the other hand, we can see showing good manners in Iran is to care for each other. The conscience has a vital part in this estate. As you think, if I were you, I wouldn’t want to be in this situation, it is the best way to show our good manners. For example, in street, there are too many labor children that they sell chewing gum and envelope. They beg people to buy them, so it is approximately a tragedy. On another side you see some people, who are benefactors, help them to go to school and have a better future, furthermore, these kind people launch an institution for supporting labor children. In the end, I think showing good manners inappropriate way is the best. We have to be our own selves and not pretend we are somebody else. A manner is valuable that helps people be glad.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways that Iranians display their kindness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behaviors. Showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners has past history in Iran,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its roots in religion, tradition, and culture in Iran,
even though
it has advantages and drawbacks. I will consider all opinions then give my view.

Islam says, if you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners with others, God will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
you to heaven.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are intolerant of Islam in Iran. It is kinda
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
however
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
effects of it rarely in Iran.

For instance
, when you go to a celebration and the host offers you to pick up these candies, at
first
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say no thanks and after as you
are offered
again, you can pick up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
candies. It is a sophisticated situation and all the time you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in bother;
in addition
, you want everybody to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about you.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t want to be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
selves.

On the other hand
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners in Iran is to care for each other. The conscience has a vital part in this estate. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, if I were you, I wouldn’t want to be in this situation, it is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners.

For example
, in street, there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
labor children that they sell chewing gum and envelope. They beg
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is approximately a tragedy. On another side you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who are benefactors,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to go to school and have a better future,
furthermore
, these kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
launch an institution for supporting labor children.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners inappropriate way is the best. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
selves and not pretend we are somebody else. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manner
is valuable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be glad.
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IELTS essay How do people in your culture show good manners towards others?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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