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How ancestor shaped who we are

How ancestor shaped who we are ragD6
The fast-paced development today is bringing comforts and luxuries in life, however, have we ever stopped for a moment and asked: “Who has been affecting our personalities and traits to be like we are today? ”. There are many aspects to consider while trying to discover who we are, how we evolved, and strive to be the person we want to be. My personal story will be pointed out in the following paragraphs. As the scientific field has been developing significantly, there are a lot of tests and genes or DNA that might reveal where our ancestors came from or what is our strengths or weaknesses. From the moment that we were born, our fingerprints have never been changed. There are four types of fingerprints which are mountain, eagle, water, and carp. Each type will have different features and shapes. Interestingly, sometimes children might have the same ten fingerprints as their parents. My family took a biological fingerprint test a year ago and each person had different results. We found out that my sister and my brother have a similar strength which is long-term memory. Our family’s purpose in doing this test was to find our strongest career path to be successful in life. Besides that, knowing what we are good at sometimes can reveal our true talent. I believe that our ancestors have a lot of impacts on our lives and traditions we follow. My family is Asian and has strong belief in our culture which is quite different from how Western families raise their children. There are some customs that most Asian families follow when their children are small. First and foremost, we are not allowed to eat before adults, this is considered respectful and mannerly. Secondly, parents are our role models within our homes. Following our parents’ footsteps and their wishes is common and considered necessary. This is the reason why the rate of family businesses in Asia is higher than in Western countries. Last but not least, we are not allowed to compare ourselves with someone lower class than us. This action is considered as being undetermined and lazy while we aim to do something. From my perspective, I think the traits are created from nature and nurture. Children will have an affection from their family’s tradition or routine, which is easy to understand. However, it is undeniable that when we go to school, our peers also affect our personalities remarkably. Moreover, children will have peer pressure when everyone has the same thing, but they do not have it. My father has influenced me a lot. Sometimes, I realize how similar my dad’s personality and mine are. However, I always try to be the best version of myself, I cannot be a ‘reproduction’ of my dad. Going study abroad marked such a big event of my whole life, moreover, I recognize that I must change to adapt to a different environment, especially I have to allow myself to go out of my ‘safe zone’. But I am still proud of my parents who did such a great job of raising me until today. In the end, I truly believe that at some point, we might realize how similar our appearances or personalities are compared to our ancestors. The importance of knowing our ancestor’s traditions and lives in the past is respecting and appreciating our existence and presents lives.
The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is bringing comforts and luxuries in life,
however
, have we ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
for a moment and asked: “Who has been affecting our personalities and traits to be like we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
? ”. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects to consider while trying to discover who we are, how we evolved, and strive to be the person we want to be. My personal story will
be pointed
out in the following paragraphs.

As the scientific field has been developing
significantly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and genes or DNA that might reveal where our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
came from or what is our strengths or weaknesses. From the moment that we
were born
, our fingerprints have never been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. There are four types of fingerprints which are mountain, eagle, water, and carp. Each type will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
features and shapes.
Interestingly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might have the same ten fingerprints as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
took a biological fingerprint
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
a year ago and each person had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
results. We found out that my sister and my brother have a similar strength which is long-term memory. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
purpose in doing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
was to find our strongest career path to be successful in life.
Besides
that, knowing what we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can reveal our true talent.

I believe that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and traditions we follow. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is Asian and has strong belief in our culture which is quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from how Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
customs that most Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
follow when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
.
First
and foremost, we are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
adults, this
is considered
respectful and
mannerly
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are our role models within our homes. Following our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
footsteps and their wishes is common and considered necessary. This is the reason why the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
businesses in Asia is higher than in Western countries. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, we are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to compare ourselves with someone lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
than us. This action
is considered
as
being undetermined
and lazy while we aim to do something. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the traits
are created
from nature and nurture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will have an affection from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
tradition or routine, which is easy to understand.
However
, it is undeniable that when we go to school, our peers
also
affect our personalities
remarkably
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have peer pressure when everyone has the same thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not have it. My father has influenced me a lot.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, I realize how similar my dad’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and mine are.
However
, I always try to be the best version of myself, I cannot be a ‘reproduction’ of my dad. Going study abroad marked such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of my whole life,
moreover
, I recognize that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to adapt to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
environment,
especially
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
myself to go out of my ‘safe zone’.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I am
still
proud of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who did such a great job of raising me until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I
truly
believe that at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point, we might realize how similar our appearances or personalities
are compared
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
. The importance of knowing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestor’s
traditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the past is respecting and appreciating our existence and presents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

IELTS essay How ancestor shaped who we are

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
562 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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