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Art has long been regarded as an integral element of all civilizations across the world. People’s attitudes have shifted in recent years, and we now place a higher emphasis on science, technology, and trade than on the arts.

Art has long been regarded as an integral element of all civilizations across the world. People’s attitudes have shifted in recent years, and we now place a higher emphasis on science, technology, and trade than on the arts. E7g6R
Nowadays, people are concentrating on science, technologies and business. However, art is considered as an inseparable asset around the world. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons and some possibilities which can be done to draw individual's attention towards art. First of all, we are living in a different era. Our surroundings are changing day by day, the world is very competitive now. People around the world are very busy with their work. Also, technologies and the uses of technologies are increasing gradually. More importantly, we are living a modern life. People do not have sufficient time to enjoy art, people have been busy with their work. In addition, every person have to follow their routine, when they get any weekend they want to spend their time with their family. For this reason, they sometimes go to watch cinema, and sometimes they choose any other place. Moreover, they use social media in their leisure time. After that, some people want that their child should learn about science and technologies or business. They contemplate, that in this competitive world learning about art is not much beneficial. As a matter of fact, their children loss interest in art. However, art still can be enjoyed can be learned. It is true that we live very busy life, but we can enjoy and learn about art in our future time. There are many things which can be beneficial in art. Furthermore, art witnessed history, so we can also learn about many historical events. Apart from that, art is very beautiful. We can buy art-work for decorating our home as well as our office, our place would look organized. Besides, we need to encourage children to practise art because, art is creative and practising art can boost creativity. Not only art is beautiful, but also it is very enjoyable, and it helps us to think more, for example when we draw something we think about any particular thing then we illustrate it, and we feel very happy. Finally, art is a very precious element, and it should be attracted. Some people just need to know about the value of art. Thought it is right that nowadays people are busy, but an individual can still go to any art show to enjoy the art, and it would be inspiring his/her child as well as they will be delighted.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concentrating on science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and business.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
as an inseparable asset around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possibilities which can
be done
to draw individual's attention towards art.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
era. Our surroundings are changing day by day, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with their work.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are increasing
gradually
. More
importantly
, we are living a modern life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
with their work.
In addition
, every person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow their routine, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any weekend they want to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family.
For this reason
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cinema, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they choose any other place.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. After that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want that their child should learn about science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
or business. They contemplate, that in this competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not much beneficial. As a matter of fact, their children loss interest in art.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
still
can
be enjoyed
can
be learned
. It is true that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can enjoy and learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in our future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which can be beneficial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
witnessed history,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
also
learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
art-work for decorating our home
as well
as our office, our place would look organized.
Besides
, we need to encourage children to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is creative and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can boost creativity. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enjoyable, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more,
for example
when we draw something we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about any particular thing then we illustrate it, and we feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious element, and it should
be attracted
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to know about the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Thought
it is right that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an individual can
still
go to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, and it would be inspiring his/her child
as well
as they will
be delighted
.

IELTS essay Art has long been regarded as an integral element of all civilizations across the world. People’s attitudes have shifted in recent years, and we now place a higher emphasis on science, technology, and trade than on the arts.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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