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Homeschooling is an option for the children if their parents do not want them in public ones .Today's society of parents will make that choice for the child;whether the child wants to or not. Many parents think that public schools do not educate their children enough.From my point of view,it is more appropriate to send children to school instead of teaching them at home.

Homeschooling is an option for the children if their parents do not want them in public ones. Today's society of parents will make that choice for the child; whether the child wants to or not. Many parents think that public schools do not educate their children enough. From my point of view, it is more appropriate to send children to school instead of teaching them at home. MrnKe
To begin with, children acquire much more academic knowledge when they attend a regular school.  The traditional education system promotes extracurricular areas including arts, music, sports and so on. As result, children are guided to discover their unique talents. In my opinion, these activities will shape their personality, character and teach them to respect and care for others as they grow up. On the other side, when a child learns at home, she gets hardly any opportunity to interact with other children. A school is much more than a place where children learn academic lessons. It is a microcosm of the world. Children get to interact with a lot of strangers at school and they have a chance to face many challenges. All of these improve their social skills and help them learn valuable skills which will prepare them for their future. By contrast, homeschooled children have hardly any interaction with the outside world and may be in for a rude shock when they enter the job market. Even if they do well in academics, their lack of social skills and real world experience may affect their ability to find a good job. To sum up, while it is true that homeschooling does have some advantages, the advantages of attending a school outweigh the advantages of studying at home. For my part, I am in favour of sending children to regular schools because a lot of skills that they learn at school cannot be learned or taught at home. The most important thing that must be considered, regardless of the option, is that children must be taught with tolerance, respect and love.
To
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begin
with,
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children
acquire much more academic knowledge when they attend a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.  The traditional education system promotes extracurricular areas including arts, music, sports and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are guided
to discover their unique talents. In my opinion, these activities will shape their personality, character and teach them to respect and care for others as they grow up.

On the other side, when a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
at home, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
hardly any opportunity to interact with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is much more than a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
academic lessons. It is a microcosm of the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
strangers at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they have a chance to face
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many
challenges. All of these
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improve
their social
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skills
and
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help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which will prepare them for their future. By contrast, homeschooled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have hardly any interaction with the outside world and may be in for a rude shock when they enter the job market. Even if they do well in academics, their lack of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and real world experience may affect their ability to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

To sum up, while it is true that homeschooling does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, the advantages of attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
outweigh the advantages of studying at home. For my part, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
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because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
cannot
be learned
or taught at home. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
, regardless of the option, is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
with tolerance, respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
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IELTS essay Homeschooling is an option for the children if their parents do not want them in public ones. Today's society of parents will make that choice for the child; whether the child wants to or not. Many parents think that public schools do not educate their children enough. From my point of view, it is more appropriate to send children to school instead of teaching them at home.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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