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What can people do to live longer? What can a government do to increase the average life expectancy of its country's citizens?

What can people do to live longer? What can a government do to increase the average life expectancy of its country's citizens? okMqb
The laws of nature have always been immutable, especially the law of life and death. However, today, the needs of living and living have much higher standards, so many people can increase their life expectancy. Today's essay will offer some personal ideas and support to help people live longer and healthier lives. First of all, the most important thing is still to stay healthy, this lies in the diet, work, rest and exercise of each person. The diet should have enough nutrients to help the body become healthy and protect itself against diseases. If you are a person who often has to work in front of a computer, you should take 5-10 minutes to get up and stretch or walk around your body without being passive. Science has shown that sitting continuously for hours affects cells and internal organs, greatly affecting health and reduce life expectancy. Another problem is that today, due to the nature of work and study, many people need to stay up late to complete, or there are many people who nap a lot and choose late at night for entertainment such as watching movies, listening to music. That should not be! We must go to bed early to ensure a balance between the two sleeping times of the day. Moreover, we must know how to live optimistically and love life, be active in social relationships. When you live happily, without hatred, your soul will be at peace and you will receive interesting experiences in life. Second, in addition to individual change and self-improvement, I think the government also needs policies to help. Government should always encourage and educate about the benefits and need to increase life expectancy, regular encouragement will help people to remember and implement good personal habits on a daily basis. For example, the Ministry of Communications can deploy a few entertainment programs with many valuable content related to health and sports for people to refer to after hours of mental or manual labor. Furthermore, they can encourage by putting many policies and budgets on special occasions such as: Lunar New Year, National Day, . . . to encourage people. Maybe it's the policy of taking more days off, increasing wages or maybe giving away souvenirs. I think that if employees receive gifts from their boss, they will be very happy and happy, excited to work and learn. In conclusion, I think that what the essay has shown all needs to be balanced and supportive of each other so that people can live longer, and especially not only longer, but will make them happier, feel the value of life.
The laws of nature have always been immutable,
especially
the law of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and death.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of living and living have much higher standards,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's essay will offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer and healthier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is
still
to stay healthy, this lies in the diet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, rest and exercise of each person. The diet should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
nutrients to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the body become healthy and protect itself against diseases. If you are a person who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in front of a computer, you should take 5-10 minutes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up and stretch or walk around your body without being passive. Science has shown that sitting
continuously
for hours affects cells and internal organs,
greatly
affecting health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. Another problem is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, due to the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to stay up late to complete, or there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who nap a lot and choose late at night for entertainment such as watching movies, listening to music. That should not be! We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to bed early to ensure a balance between the two sleeping times of the day.
Moreover
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
optimistically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, be active in social relationships. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
happily
, without hatred, your soul will be at peace and you will receive interesting experiences in life.

Second,
in addition
to individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and self-improvement, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
policies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should always encourage and educate about the benefits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy, regular encouragement will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remember and implement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personal habits on a daily basis.
For example
, the Ministry of Communications can deploy a few entertainment programs with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
valuable content related to health and sports for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to refer to after hours of mental or manual labor.
Furthermore
, they can encourage by putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
policies and budgets on special occasions such as: Lunar New Year, National Day
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Maybe it's the policy of taking more days off, increasing wages or maybe giving away souvenirs. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if employees receive gifts from their boss, they will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and happy, excited to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and learn.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that what the essay has shown all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be balanced
and supportive of each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer, and
especially
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
longer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happier, feel the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay What can people do to live longer? What can a government do to increase the average life expectancy of its country's citizens?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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