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history is one of the most indispensable subjects in school

history is one of the most indispensable subjects in school XyE58
It is often argued that history is one of the most indispensable subjects in school. While reasons can be given to justify this, I believe that science and technology still have significant roles nowadays. On the one hand, there are many reasons why history is an important subject of the syllabus and children should be taught it. Firstly, history is a subject that collected and reflected all of the experiences on all sides of a country’s problems. In the syllabus for children about historical business knowledge, they could know the nature of a commercial market operation by business actives of their previous generation, same as the methods to manage the flow of money between productive ability and distributive products ability of their country to seek the most suitable way for their national development. Regarding the national protective experiences, children may be taught about many foreign affair methods of their country with others to guarantee the most advantages and avoid the conflicts that affected the economic nation or the safety of the territorial sovereignty. Secondly, teaching history at school could bring for children the proud senses of their ancestors, encourage the national self-respect to make them attempt to guard and develop their country that following their previous generation’s orientation. This explains why history is the most indispensable subject in the syllabus at school. On the other hand, despite history has many advantages that children should follow in school, they should pay more attention to science and technology subjects because their roles are not ignorant nowadays. Primarily, in this technical era, the cutting-edge sciences invade in most sides of life such as entrepreneur or business, financial investing analysis market or other sides of technological advances and that would be a pity if young generation doesn’t catch up the demands of the new market nowadays. So, science and technology should be taught extremely for children. In conclusion, both history and science are important to teach for children at school to encourage the development awareness of both sides of them.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is one of the most indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. While reasons can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to justify this, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology
still
have significant roles nowadays.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of the syllabus and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
it.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that collected and reflected
Consider using "all the".
all of the
experiences on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
problems. In the syllabus for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about historical business knowledge, they could know the nature of a commercial market operation by business actives of their previous generation, same as the methods to manage the flow of money between productive ability and distributive
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "products'" or "product's"?
products
ability of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to seek the most suitable way for their national development. Regarding the national protective experiences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
be taught
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign affair methods of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with others to guarantee the most advantages and avoid the conflicts that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the economic nation or the safety of the territorial sovereignty.
Secondly
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could bring for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the proud senses of their ancestors, encourage the national self-respect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them attempt to guard and develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that following their previous generation’s orientation. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the most indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the syllabus at school.

On the other hand
, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should follow in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they should pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their roles are not ignorant nowadays.
Primarily
, in this technical era, the cutting-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
invade in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of life such as entrepreneur or business, financial investing analysis market or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of technological advances and that would be a pity if young generation doesn’t catch up the demands of the new market nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology should
be taught
extremely
for children.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to teach for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to encourage the development awareness of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of them.
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IELTS essay history is one of the most indispensable subjects in school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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