Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Students should concentrate on the main subject or expand the number of subjects.

Students should concentrate on the main subject or expand the number of subjects. qa62G
Nowadays, with the development of education There mentioned two education systems is that students should concentrate on the main subject or expand the number of subjects up to students leave school. In my viewpoint, both two opinions are right and give students many profits, but focusing on core subjects brings more advantages in real life. There are a few reasons why people think that students should learn a wide range of subjects. Students can broaden their knowledge and have the opportunity to learn, master vital soft skills such as communication and teamwork skills. Moreover, students can also research in many various fields which makes students feel interesting. This creates the background to students seek a job when they graduated. However, almost all parents don't know about the incredible pressure of studying at school, and not all students like to learn many subjects. When students only had to learn core subjects they can spend a lot of time interacting and taking part in physical activity or take a rest. Which has a positive impact on a part construct a healthy lifestyle. On other hand, studying certain subjects help students saving much time to research and gain in-depth knowledge about the main subjects such as Mathematics, languages, politics, . . . In conclusion, students need to concentrate on certain subjects at that time when they need to get higher academic results to find a job and nursing their life.
Nowadays, with the development of education

There mentioned two education systems is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should concentrate on the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
or expand the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school. In my viewpoint, both two opinions are right and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
profits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
focusing on core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
brings more advantages in real life.

There are a few reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can broaden their knowledge and have the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
, master vital soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as communication and teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
also
research in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various fields which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel interesting. This creates the background to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
seek a job when they graduated.

However
, almost all parents don't know about the incredible pressure of studying at school, and not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they can spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time interacting and taking part in physical activity or take a rest.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on a part construct a healthy lifestyle. On other hand, studying certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
saving much time to research and gain in-depth knowledge about the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as Mathematics, languages, politics
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to concentrate on certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at that time when they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher academic results to find a job and nursing their life.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Students should concentrate on the main subject or expand the number of subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Summerhill is an ideal school for children. Do you agree?
    Education has invariably lurked abundant latent issues, which are severely perturbed by among the general public all the time. Consequently, Summerhill is a part of educational problems that many individuals question whether this school offers a propitious or adverse educational environment to child...
  • 5band
    punishment is not the only measure for adults to take when children break rules or fail to meet expected standards of conduct
    It is essential for children to be educated to differentiate between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is believed to play a vital role in the education. I disagree with the opinion to great extend. Firstly, punishment is not the only measure for adults to take when children break rules o...
  • 5band
    Although it’s difficult to make a play for your crush, there are many ways to make impression on him or her
    Although it’s difficult to make a play for your crush, there are many ways to make impression on him or her. Let me give you some example. First, Be confident in every moment with your crush, you will have a good first impression if you are always confident when you meet someone for the first time. ...
  • 6band
    analyze the social and economical impacts of social network
    It is true that social media, like most other contemporary technological inventions, may be viewed as a two-sided affair since it provides individuals with both benefits and drawbacks. Since its widespread usage in our day-to-day life, it has been intimately connected to every side of our existence,...
  • 5.5band
    Many countries decide old people can work any age they want
    In this day and age, thanks to the development of health, education and social, the average life expectancy of people has increased much compared to previous years. Many countries tend to population aging and they decide to permit the elderly can work any age even after retirement age. this trend ha...
  • 5band
    Friend, It benefit and much more! !
    Friend is a noun use to describe about relative with two people or more! Sometime friend is good but sometime it is not. First at all, friend is a relative that you need to have at least one in your life! You know why? Because it is important, friend can help you with your problem, can listen to you...