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punishment is not the only measure for adults to take when children break rules or fail to meet expected standards of conduct

punishment is not the only measure for adults to take when children break rules or fail to meet expected standards of conduct 6m6Px
It is essential for children to be educated to differentiate between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is believed to play a vital role in the education. I disagree with the opinion to great extend. Firstly, punishment is not the only measure for adults to take when children break rules or fail to meet expected standards of conduct. Children can learn the differences between right and wrong by receiving appreciation and encouragement. Teachers and parents should give compliments and presents to the children doing good deeds. By this way, they understand that their good behavior is expected and appreciated. The stubborn children who are not given gifts are aware of their misbehavior and competitively try to be better. In addition, punishment is not always effective for adults to educate children. That parents overuse punishment can lead to unexpected actions of their offspring. The children have experienced punishment so many times that they are no longer afraid of it anymore. In addition, children might misbehave in order to check adults’ boundaries. In other words, bored children are eager to figure out what kinds of punishment will be applied for their specific acts of disobedience. Thus, punishment is not only unnecessary to help children learn the distinction between right and wrong but also facilitating misbehaviour. In conclusion, parents and teachers are not obliged to impose disadvantage and hardship on misbehaving children. Instead of punishment, people should use appreciation, encouragement and rewarding while educating children.
It is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be educated
to differentiate between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
at an early age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
is believed
to play a vital role in the education. I disagree with the opinion to great extend.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
measure for adults to take when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
break
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
standards of conduct.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can learn the differences between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
by receiving appreciation and encouragement. Teachers and parents should give compliments and presents to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds. By this way, they understand that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
and appreciated. The stubborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
gifts are aware of their misbehavior and
competitively
try to be better.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not always effective for adults to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. That parents overuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can lead to unexpected actions of their offspring. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times that they are no longer afraid of it anymore.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might misbehave in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
adults’ boundaries.
In other words
, bored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are eager to figure out what kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will
be applied
for their specific acts of disobedience.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
unnecessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn the distinction between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
facilitating
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
.

In conclusion
, parents and teachers are not obliged to impose disadvantage and hardship on misbehaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
appreciation, encouragement and rewarding while educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay punishment is not the only measure for adults to take when children break rules or fail to meet expected standards of conduct

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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