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higher salary more important than job satisfaction do you agree or not

higher salary more important than job satisfaction do you agree or not dl8ko
Over the last few decades there have been significant development in the field of financial industry because of situation has changed and industry grew larger. Although many people believe that higher remuneration is more important than work satisfaction because in the new era everything is depending on money so i agree the given statement and my inclination is justified in the following paragraphs. Firstly, out of the all arguments the strongest point to prove my view is in now a days, most products has increased the maximum retail price and inflation rate is higher than the previous year by this i mean the covid pandemic situation has destroyed the public financial status and rocket the liability. A good example for this, few weeks ago, The indian times newspaper had reported a farmer suicide cause of lack of money to do farming. Secondly, The other reason to prove my point is in the new decades society has been facing the unemployment and lack of remuneration because with out higher salary no one can manage their daily need and wants so many people are going to restaurants for earning some money. They could not save money from their primary job for instance, many school students has been going to partime job for earning some pocket money because parents cannot give money to children in this situation. more over, over the last covid pandemic situation many people has faced the salary problem because most company has been giving small remuneration for their work so few weeks ago, All kerala workers union community had conducted a meeting against this problem and the business management took an action for employers. There are some top notch reasons of agreeing in the presented arguments. in conclusion, The overall picture, therefore, from the disquisition unravels the kernel of salary. Although bunch personage has adjusted with the minimum salary because they only focus on job satisfaction. I whole heartedly grabt with given statement and have explained the same in the above paragraphs.
Over the last few decades there have been significant development in the field of financial industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of situation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and industry grew larger. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that higher remuneration is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than work satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the new era everything
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is depending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and my inclination
is justified
in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, out of the all arguments the strongest point to prove my view is in
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
, most products has increased the maximum retail price and inflation rate is higher than the previous year by this
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
mean the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
pandemic situation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the public financial status and rocket the liability. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for this, few weeks ago, The
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
times newspaper had reported a farmer suicide cause of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go farming".
do farming
.

Secondly
, The other reason to prove my point is in the new
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "decades'" or "decade's"?
decades
society has been facing the unemployment and lack of remuneration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
no one can manage their daily need and wants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are going to restaurants for earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They could not save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their primary job
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
school students has been going to
Possible spelling mistake found.
partime
job for earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents cannot give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to children in this situation.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
more
over, over the last
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
pandemic situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
faced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has been giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
remuneration for their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
few weeks ago, All
Possible spelling mistake found.
kerala
workers union community had conducted a meeting against this problem and the business management took an action for employers. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top notch
reasons of agreeing in the presented arguments.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, The
overall
picture,
therefore
, from the disquisition unravels the kernel of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. Although bunch personage has adjusted with the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on job satisfaction. I whole
heartedly
Possible spelling mistake found.
grabt
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the same in the above paragraphs.
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IELTS essay higher salary more important than job satisfaction do you agree or not

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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