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Government should not spend much money for education but on free time activities agree or disagree.

Government should not spend much money for education but on free time activities agree or disagree. alnJY
It is true that government should spend money on education which is important in person's life but due it they ignore circular activities which are as important as education i totally agree with this statement. To begin with, education plays ab important role in day to day life which can also helps our country economically also grow literally rate by getting higher paid jobs whereas it can also help our society in forms of crimes free and having peaceful societies. However, spending money on free time activities is also main feature such activities benefits students to build there physical strength and academically. Activities such an athletic, music, theatre and organisation teach pupils how to discipline themselves. In addition extracurricular activities like art teach childrens analystical skills and creative problem solving skills. Furthermore, life is stressful and free time activities act as stressp buster. They break the monotony of hectic day-to-day life. They also helps students to be free from the academic stress. for instance many collegeis have subjects like communication skills, photography, dancing, software designing etc which can also boost their brain. It is the responsibility of the government to provide expert sessions for activities like these, provide stadium, playround, gym, and communiy centres where people can do free time activities.
It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on education which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
circular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as education
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, education plays ab
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
our country
economically
also
grow
literally
rate by getting higher paid jobs whereas it can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our society in forms of crimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and having peaceful societies.
However
, spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is
also
main feature such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
benefits students to build there physical strength and
academically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Activities
such an athletic, music,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
teach pupils how to discipline themselves. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like art teach
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
Possible spelling mistake found.
analystical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and creative problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is stressful and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
act as
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressp
buster. They break the monotony of hectic day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They
also
The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "help"
helps
students to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
from the academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
collegeis
have subjects like communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, photography, dancing, software designing etc which can
also
boost their brain. It is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide expert sessions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like these, provide stadium,
Possible spelling mistake found.
playround
, gym, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
communiy
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay Government should not spend much money for education but on free time activities agree or disagree.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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