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High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people?

High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people? BMEjX
In today’s world, people would like to stay in high-rise buildings due to various reasons. There are some advantages and disadvantages to this. There are two main advantages of staying in tall buildings. Firstly, people meet diverse cultures and traditions. They get to know about them in the different festivals, programs in the societies. As a result, they can learn new things from them, it can be helpful to each other in difficult times. In addition, there are amenities provided by buildings such as gym, tennis, chess, badminton, and so on. Especially for the children who are restricted to go outside, they can play indoor and outdoor games, which helps them to make new groups and learn sports activities. On the other hand, various drawbacks may be noted. In the first place, maintenance of the building can be expensive. It has different amenities, facilities, and It can cost so much. Also, diverse cultures can lead to conflict in different festivals. There are people who belong to different religions, states. It can create a nuisance as well. In conclusion, diverse cultures help people to learn new things from each other however, it can be misleading due to cultural differences. It can give good amenities to the people but, it can not be cost effective to all. Therefore, It is necessary to see the pros and cons of high rise buildings.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to stay in high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
due to various reasons. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages to this.

There are two main advantages of staying in tall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
diverse cultures and traditions. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
festivals, programs in the societies.
As a result
, they can learn new things from them, it can be helpful to each other in difficult times.
In addition
, there are amenities provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
such as gym, tennis, chess, badminton, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Especially
for the children who
are restricted
to go outside, they can play indoor and outdoor games, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new groups and learn sports activities.

On the other hand
, various drawbacks may
be noted
. In the
first
place, maintenance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can be expensive. It has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
amenities, facilities, and It can cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
Also
, diverse cultures can lead to conflict in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
festivals. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who belong to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
religions, states. It can create a nuisance
as well
.

In conclusion
, diverse cultures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn new things from each other
however
, it can be misleading due to cultural differences. It can give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amenities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it can not
be cost
effective to all.
Therefore
, It is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the pros and cons of high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
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IELTS essay High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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