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High consumption of sugar is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by some that it is the obligation of the government to reduce the intake of sugar while others believe that it is a duty of an individual to curb it

High consumption of sugar is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by some that it is the obligation of the government to reduce the intake of sugar while others believe that it is a duty of an individual to curb it QwANL
High consumption of sugar is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by some that it is the obligation of the government to reduce the intake of sugar while others believe that it is a duty of an individual to curb it. I am of the opinion that intake of sugar should be replaced with a close substitute such as Honey. On one hand, the government should pass a law that will reduce sugar intake. This law should be on the daily advisable intake of sugar for an individual. For example, In Nigeria there are agencies responsible for quality assurance of products in the market, they can create a sanctioning order on companies that are not following strict government policy on sugar in foods. In addition, media jingles should be made concerning the side effect of consuming a considerable amount of sugar. On the other hand, other’s believed that it is a job of an individual to take care of their sugar intake and I agree. I am of the opinion that individuals can choose to take Honey instead of sugar. Honey is a natural sweetener that has no side effects when compared with sugar. Also, it should be a paramount thing for an individual to always check his/ her blood sugar level and engage in physical exercises to burn excess sugar in their system. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I believe it is germane for an individual to pay attention to their health and subscribe to other forms of sugar such as Honey.
High consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is detrimental to one’s health. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is the obligation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
while others believe that it is a duty of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to curb it. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
should
be replaced
with a close substitute such as Honey.

On one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pass a law that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
. This law should be on the daily advisable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
For example
, In Nigeria there are agencies responsible for quality assurance of products in the market, they can create a sanctioning order on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that are not following strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policy on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in foods.
In addition
, media jingles should
be made
concerning the side effect of consuming a considerable amount of sugar.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
Consider using the plural form here: "others".
other’s
believed that it is a job of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can choose to take Honey
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. Honey is a natural sweetener that has no side effects when compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
Also
, it should be a paramount thing for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
his/ her blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
level and engage in physical exercises to burn excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in their system.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I believe it is germane for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to pay attention to their health and subscribe to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
such as Honey.
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IELTS essay High consumption of sugar is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by some that it is the obligation of the government to reduce the intake of sugar while others believe that it is a duty of an individual to curb it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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