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healthy In today's society

healthy In today's society O66Kj
In today's society, even though health is one of the most noticeable concerns, many people ignore this issue. Governments around the globe even waste and dissipate financial and personnel resources on treating illnesses and diseases instead of investing more in educating and raising awareness of citizens in relation to health and prevention in daily life. I completely agree with this point of view. At first sight, governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases. According to experts, in current days, modern and developed countries must face a serious issue, that is Coronavirus. It is unfortunate that these nations only concentrate on advancing and promoting the economy without concerning and prioritizing the health community and public safety. It has led to a dangerous consequence, for instance, many people around the globe are killed by this virus and the World Health Organization (WHO) announced that coronavirus is now officially a pandemic. As a result, these nations have to spend too much money on curing those who have already had diseases. On the other hand, it is generally agreed that prevention and health education should be encouraged in medical investment because it is able to deal with the root of the problem. Besides, health education is essential in order that people are able to have fundamental health knowledge to protect on their own. For example, if governments immediately announced problems related to this virus, health education and prevention were implemented as well, millions of people could avoid unfortunate consequences. It is totally helpful that the government and citizens are likely to save not only money but also time. In conclusion, I think that it is definitely reasonable to say that governments pay more attention to have investments much more financial and personnel resources in educating citizens regarding the health community and public safety around the world. From my point of view, it is the most effective and efficient measurement to cope with health-related issues without wasting much more government budget and residents of money.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is one of the most noticeable concerns,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
this issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the globe even waste and dissipate financial and personnel resources on treating illnesses and diseases
instead
of investing more in educating and raising awareness of citizens in relation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and prevention in daily life. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

At
first
sight,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the world spend too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on treating illnesses and diseases. According to experts, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days, modern and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face a serious issue,
that is
Coronavirus. It is unfortunate that these nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrate on advancing and promoting the economy without concerning and prioritizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
community and public safety. It has led to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
consequence,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the globe
are killed
by this virus and the World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Organization (WHO) announced that coronavirus is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
officially
a pandemic.
As a result
, these nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on curing those who have already had diseases.

On the other hand
, it is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that prevention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education should
be encouraged
in medical investment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is able to deal with the root of the problem.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education is essential in order that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to have fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
knowledge to protect on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
immediately announced problems related to this virus,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and prevention
were implemented
as well
, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could avoid unfortunate consequences. It is
totally
helpful that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and citizens are likely to save not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
time.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is definitely reasonable to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
pay more attention to have investments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more financial and personnel resources in educating citizens regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
community and public safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the world. From my point of view, it is the most effective and efficient measurement to cope with health-related issues without wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget and residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay healthy In today's society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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