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describe a famous leader you admire

describe a famous leader you admire w77jN
I would like to talk about Bill Gates wh is one of the richest entrepreneurs in the world. He is the founder of the world's largest computer and technology business company Microsoft. In its early days, no one would have thought that from that moment on, it would change both America and the world. He and his company created both computers and software that revolutionized everything in America and the world. What's even better is that the company continues to evolve and revolutionize the way Americans live their lives right. Most importantly, he makes people feel comfortable with his software by making it easier and more enjoyable to operate. He is considered an ideal monument not only of leaders but also of everyone because of some reasons. First of all, he always know his emloyees's feeling. He always makes employees feel that the workplace is also their home. He wants to make his employees as comfortable, productive and happy as possible at work. At Microsoft all full-time employees have their own offices. They can customize their office to meet their special needs. Secondly, Bill Gates is a person who appreciates the importance of taking time to learn from subordinates. He is willing to listen to their ideas, always invest in thinking, consider development directions in favor of Microsoft. Any employee with a new idea can present it and get time for Bill Gates himself to respond to suggestions. Besides, he always hires talented and suitable people because people are the deciding factor. Finally, what makes me think that Bill Gates is a good leader is because he attaches great importance to the human factor and considers it a decisive factor in the growth of his company. Moreover, he always respects each individual person. One of his famous quotes: “Never compare yourself to others. If you do, you're insulting yourself". Each person is a special individual, instead of looking at others with jealous eyes, know how to be happy with yourself and try to develop yourself. In conclusion, Bill Gates is an excellent leader who not only can teach not only about business lesson but also is an inpirational person to others, and for me, I leant more lessons from his lifestyle and his working.
I would like to talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gates
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wh
is one of the richest entrepreneurs in the world. He is the founder of the world's largest computer and technology business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
Microsoft. In its early days, no one would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that from that moment on, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
both America and the world. He and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
created both computers and software that revolutionized everything in America and the world. What's even better is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
continues to evolve and revolutionize the way Americans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
right. Most
importantly
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel comfortable with his software by making it easier and more enjoyable to operate. He
is considered
an ideal monument not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
of leaders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
of everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "knows", "knew".
know
his
Possible spelling mistake found.
emloyees
's feeling. He always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
feel that the workplace is
also
their home. He wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as comfortable, productive and happy as possible at work. At Microsoft all full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
offices. They can customize their office to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their special needs.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gates
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who appreciates the importance of taking time to learn from subordinates. He is willing to listen to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, always invest in thinking, consider development directions in favor of Microsoft. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
with a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can present it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gates
himself to respond to suggestions.
Besides
, he always hires talented and suitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are the deciding factor.
Finally
, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gates
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
leader is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he attaches great importance to the human factor and considers it a decisive factor in the growth of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Moreover
, he always respects each individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. One of his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
quotes: “Never compare yourself to others. If you do, you're insulting yourself
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is a special individual,
instead
of looking at others with jealous eyes, know how to be happy with yourself and try to develop yourself.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gates
is an excellent leader who not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can teach not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about business lesson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
inpirational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to others, and for me, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
leant
more lessons from his lifestyle and his working.
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IELTS essay describe a famous leader you admire

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
374 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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