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Health us wealth. To what extent would you agree?

Health us wealth. To what extent would you agree? EwYKx
The saying "health is wealth" is very apt as good health comes from a good physique that enables one to enjoy the pleasures and manage challenges of life. health here comprises the mental and the physical. Thus I agree that good health is actually wealth as it allows one lead an existence without being hampered by disabling circumstances such as disability (both mental and physical), medical conditions such as diabetes, cancer and other potentially fatal diseases. A disabled person faces a lot of challenges in life including having to depend on another for basic needs and perform simple tasks. The situation is even more daunting if you are paralyzed and mentally unfit to lead a normal existence. One would not be able to earn an income becoming a burden to family and friends (though the latter are usually encouraging and supportive). Many cancer patients and others who suffer from debilitating sickness spend huge amounts of money for treatment. In addition to that, they have to undergo very painful medical procedures. A cancer patient for example typically has to undergo chemotherapy and radiotherapy which have undesirable side effects such as vomiting, hair loss, weaknesses and other unpleasant symptoms. Despite all that, there is no guarantee that one would survive such sickness. Thus, our good physical and mental well being provides us the opportunity to enjoy life without any hindrances. The "wealth" one derives from good health is actually a life free from circumstances that afflicts us in some way and hence, affects our happiness and comfort. There are many people in this world who are extremely wealthy but due to poor health, they are unable to enjoy their material coins. Their daily performance is hampered by physical and mental incapacitation and hence, they can be actually considered "poor". A materially poor man or woman but rich in terms of health actually can be termed as "wealthy' as he or she is not hampered by sickness. the later does not have to fork out money for treatment and can enjoy a peaceful and blissful life. In short, good health si wealth as no amount of money can cure one of terrible sickness. Good health ensures a fulfilling and enriching life.
The saying
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
health is wealth
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
apt as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
physique that enables one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the pleasures and manage challenges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
health
here comprises the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and the physical.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
one lead an existence without
being hampered
by disabling circumstances such as disability (both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and physical), medical conditions such as diabetes, cancer and other
potentially
fatal diseases. A disabled person faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
including having to depend on another for basic needs and perform simple tasks. The situation is even more daunting if you
are paralyzed
and mentally unfit to lead a normal existence. One would not be able to earn an income becoming a burden to family and friends (though the latter are
usually
encouraging and supportive).

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
cancer patients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
who suffer from debilitating sickness spend huge amounts of money for treatment.
In addition
to that, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
painful medical procedures. A cancer patient
for example
typically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
undergo chemotherapy and radiotherapy which have undesirable side effects such as vomiting, hair loss, weaknesses and other unpleasant symptoms. Despite all that, there is no guarantee that one would survive such sickness.

Thus
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
provides us the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without any hindrances. The
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
wealth
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
one derives from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is actually a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
free from circumstances that afflicts us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way and
hence
, affects our happiness and comfort.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this world who are
extremely
wealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
their material coins. Their daily performance
is hampered
by physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
incapacitation and
hence
, they can be actually considered
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
poor
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. A
materially
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or woman
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rich in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
actually can
be termed
as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
wealthy' as he or she is not hampered by sickness.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fork out money for treatment and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
a peaceful and blissful life.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake found.
si
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
as no amount of money can cure one of terrible sickness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
ensures a fulfilling and enriching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Health us wealth. To what extent would you agree?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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