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Health education is important for community. do you agree or disagree?

Health education is important for community. d9b3E
It is certainly true that having a vast knowledge about healthy lifestyle to society is a predominate fact. I consider that health education plays an instrumental role in the individual's life. when it comes to adapting sedentery lifestyle by society the lack of information about healthy life is the major concern of this tendency. Thanks to sophisticated technology, which makes our life convenient. However, due to this, most of the people totally rely on technological gadgets and they do not work by themselves which puts devastating impact on health. For instance, in current scenario community have grappling with ailments as obesity escalating by overeating outside food and then, they use electronic gadgets for their minor work since, they do not do any physical work which is an essential for their pink health. consequently, most of dwellers become lazy and unhealthy. In order to inculcate health education among community, administration had better heighten awareness to mitigate health related complications. Provided that teachers provide health education to students during their schooling period therefore, the problem of sedentary lifestyle may reduce. In addition to it, government should telecaste some short movie clips on the internet related to healthy lifestyle to make society understand as, fully nutrients diet should be consumed by people as well as they must make their diet balance round-the-clock. In conclusion, undoubtedly, health education plays paramount role in everyone's life because people can enjoy healthy lifestyle. Nowadays, people face many health issues to reduce it, health related awareness is an imperative.
It is
certainly
true that having a vast knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
to society is a predominate fact. I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an instrumental role in the individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to adapting
Possible spelling mistake found.
sedentery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
by society the lack of information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the major concern of this tendency. Thanks to sophisticated technology, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
convenient.
However
, due to this, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
totally
rely on technological
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gadgets and
they do not work by themselves which puts devastating impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario community have grappling with ailments as obesity escalating by overeating outside food and then, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic gadgets for their minor work since, they do not do any physical work which is an essential for their pink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the dwellers") or simply say "most dwellers".
most of dwellers
become lazy and unhealthy. In order to inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
among community, administration had better heighten awareness to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related complications. Provided that teachers provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to students during their schooling period
therefore
, the problem of sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
In addition
to it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
telecaste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
short movie clips on the internet related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society understand as,
fully
nutrients diet should
be consumed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their diet balance round-the-clock.
In conclusion
,
undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays paramount role in everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related awareness is an imperative.
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IELTS essay Health education is important for community.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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