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Health education is an essential aspect of community health. Do you agree or disagree?

Health education is an essential aspect of community health. Xj8P
It is considered that health is wealth. Basic health education plays a vital role in one's life. I completely agree with the statement and think that elementary medical knowledge is always helpful in emergency cases. First of all,  primary health information is taught to every single child in primary schooling. In addition, it gives basic awareness of ourselves and other-selves. Moreover, It will be useful for them to save money from hefty medical charges. Furthermore, at some places, doctors try to prescribe more medicines to take advantages of patient's money. At that moment, it will be very beneficial to use basic health knowledge. Take for instance, everyone knows that someone got a fever, then it can be alleviated by paracetamol tablets. this helpful information can save large prescription fees. That is why basic health education is mandatory for communities to save their earnings. Secondly, medical emergency services are not able to reach adequately in some areas, at that time basic knowledge of health remedies are helpful for people. Additionally, in some cases, villagers are unaware of medical services provided by the government. so that they use their basic knowledge to care for their lives. For example, in some developing countries, the government unable to provide medical services due to more patients at that time basic health information will benefit them. Thus, medical education plays a crucial role to maintain better health in community emergency time. in conclusion, health education must important to learn and understand because it can save the money and lives of communities.
It
is considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is wealth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education plays a vital role in one's life. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that elementary medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is always helpful in emergency cases.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
information
is taught
to every single child in primary schooling.
In addition
, it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
awareness of ourselves and other-selves.
Moreover
, It will be useful for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
money from hefty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
charges.
Furthermore
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, doctors try to prescribe more medicines to take advantages of patient's money. At that moment, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Take
for instance
, everyone knows that someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a fever, then it can
be alleviated
by paracetamol tablets.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
helpful information can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
large prescription fees.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
health education is mandatory for communities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
their earnings.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
emergency services are not able to reach
adequately
 in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas, at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of health remedies are helpful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Additionally
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, villagers are unaware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to care for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
unable to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
services due to more patients at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
information will benefit them.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
education plays a crucial role to maintain better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in community emergency time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to learn and understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
the money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of communities.
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IELTS essay Health education is an essential aspect of community health.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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