Search
Vocabularying
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

health degrading in future?

health degrading in future? NV9md

Nowadays there is a raging talks about mental health be it in primary sector or secondary sector. I think mental health will degrade in future and here are my reasons for it. Firstly there is too much involvement of technology in our lives nowadays. People are more stuck to their phones rather than look out or do something, even move. There are many technological advances that will either take away our day to day activity or as called evidently help us. Nowadays, there are electronic butlers that will even bring us a glass of water, people will take advantage of it and basic walking like waking up to take up a glass of water will be deteriorated by it. Secondly there is the unhealthy and toxic cultures and diets that the celebrities promote and our youth follows it. People nowadays are more leaned towards their diet and will eat anything they like or they have time for. At last, I would like say that some people often think that technology will lead us to a better future but it will come with its ill effects

You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurrent
Nowadays
 there is a raging talks about mental health be it in primary sector or secondary sector. I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 mental health will degrade in future and here are my reasons for it. Firstly
 there is too much involvement of technology in our This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurrent
nowadays
. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
People
 are more stuck to their phones rather
 than look out or do something, even This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :relocate
move
. There are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 technological advances that will either take away our It appears that two hyphens are missing.day-to-day
day to day
 activity or as called evidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 us. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurrent
Nowadays
, there are electronic butlers that will even bring us a glass of water, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 will take advantage of it and basic walking like waking up to take up a glass of water will be deteriorated
 by it. Secondly
 there is the unhealthy and toxic cultures and diets that the celebrities promote and our youth follows it. You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcurrent
nowadays
 are more leaned towards their diet and will eat anything they Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).like, or
like or
 they have time for. At last, I would like say that This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:frequently
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 that technology will lead us to a better future This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 it will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :approacharrive
come
 with its ill Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragrapheffects.effects!effects?effects:effects,effects;
effects