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he personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations.

It is a common fact to be asked about our personal information whenever we are using a website or a mobile phone application. There are growing concerns about how this information is used by corporations and governments. In my point of view, I think data collection causes more risks than benefits. The proponents of this statement claim that these companies can provide helpful and distinctive services and products for their users. Major internet companies such as Facebook and Google track its user's behaviour to help other companies to design effective marketing campaigns. As a result, people see personalized ads that reflect their interests and preferences while they are searching online. Another advantage, gathering data about consumers can be deployed as the main source of primary data for academic and scientific researches. The information that is provided by Fitness apps can be used by medical authorities to discover the link between workout and health. It might give them general indications about the variables that have impact on the well-being of people. Conversely, people are more worried about the way how these companies are using their personal data. These concerns are adequately justified because they lost control over their own information, and their activities are being monitored online and offline. As consequences, they become more vulnerable to the threats of terrorists and unethical attacks. for example, foreign parties could affect the decisions of local citizens during the election process by knowing their feeling triggers. In addition, governments and larger companies could exploit deploying personal information for unethical purposes without the consent of their users. They might use these data to drive people attention toward certain movement or trend in order to pave the way for an acceptable solution. For instance, some of the online ads on Instagram platform promote the use of plastic surgeries to encourage younger adults to change their appearance. This type of ads therefore lower the self-esteem of women and expose them to risky practices. To sum up, Internet companies and public authorities claim that personal data are used in serving the best interests of the public. By contrast, these entities are breaching public privacy by deploying their information in wrongful ways that serve only their own advantage. Wed Dec 02 2020 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Do you want to check your essay?
It is a common fact to
be asked
about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
whenever we are using a website or a mobile phone application. There are growing concerns about how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by corporations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. In my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
collection causes more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
than benefits.

The proponents of this statement claim that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can provide helpful and distinctive services and products for their users. Major internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
such as Facebook and Google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
its user's
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to design effective marketing campaigns.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
personalized ads that reflect their interests and preferences while they are searching online. Another advantage, gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
about consumers can
be deployed
as the main source of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
for academic and scientific researches. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
is provided
by Fitness apps can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by medical authorities to discover the link between workout and health. It might give them general indications about the variables that have impact on the well-being of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more worried about the way how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. These concerns are
adequately
justified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lost control over their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, and their activities are
being monitored
online and offline. As consequences, they become more vulnerable to the threats of terrorists and unethical attacks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
example, foreign parties could affect the decisions of local citizens during the election process by knowing their feeling triggers.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could exploit deploying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for unethical purposes without the consent of their users. They might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to drive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attention toward certain movement or trend in order to pave the way for an acceptable solution.
For instance
,
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
online ads on Instagram platform promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of plastic surgeries to encourage younger adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their appearance. This type of ads
therefore
lower the self-esteem of women and expose them to risky practices.

To sum up, Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and public authorities claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in serving the best interests of the public. By contrast, these entities are breaching public privacy by deploying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in wrongful ways that serve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantage.

Wed Dec 02 2020

Unauthorized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is
strictly
prohibited. Excerpts and links may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, provided that full and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
credit is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
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IELTS essay he personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
426 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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