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Bullies should be expelled from schools. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that bullying is a major problem at schools. Bullying is a significant issue in the modern world and some people claim that bullies should be expelled from schools. Tackling this issue is challenging especially with the pressure of modern life. Nevertheless, I strongly disagree with the statement above for the reasons that will be analysed below.  To commence with, expelling bullies from school would not provide the desired results, as the problem would be simply transferred elsewhere. For example, if a bully does not realise the consequences of his actions, he/she will probably continue misbehaving in another school environment. As a result, the problem will continue to exist both in schools and in the wider society. Furthermore, another reason why I disagree with the statement above is the fact that bullies might feel rejected from the society in this way and be negatively affected by the situation. More specifically, if a bully is dismissed from school, this could lead to even worse behavioural patterns and more negative reaction towards others. Consequently, bullies might be stigmatized for a lifetime and this would potentially destroy the future prospects of young generations. It must be admitted, however, that bullies severely affect and traumatize some students at school through their aggressive actions, and expelling them would probably bring justice to the school environment. Nonetheless, even in these cases, I personally believe that it would be a more harmful approach than others. In other words, bullies would not learn a lesson and, even if they left, new bullies would emerge sooner or later. To conclude, I am convinced that expelling bullies from school is not the ideal way to confront this issue. Bullies belong to a social group of people and will continue to exist even if they are sent from one place to the other. However, it is vital that we try to approach them and help them improve themselves, as that would ultimately bring more desired results both for the individual and the society.
There is no doubt that bullying is a major problem at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Bullying is a significant issue in the modern world and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
should
be expelled
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Tackling this issue is challenging
especially
with the pressure of modern life.
Nevertheless
, I
strongly
disagree with the statement above for the reasons that will be
Possible spelling mistake. ‘analysed’ is British English.
analysed
below.  To commence with, expelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would not provide the desired results, as the problem would be
simply
transferred elsewhere.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bully
does not
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realise’ is British English.
realise
the consequences of his actions, he/she will
probably
continue misbehaving in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment.
As a result
, the problem will continue to exist both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and in the wider society.
Furthermore
, another reason why I disagree with the statement above is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
might feel rejected from the society in this way and be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the situation. More
specifically
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bully
is dismissed
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, this could lead to even worse
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behavioural’ is British English.
behavioural
patterns and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reaction towards others.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
might
be stigmatized
for a lifetime and this would
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the future prospects of young generations. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be admitted
,
however
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
severely
affect and traumatize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
through their aggressive actions, and expelling them would
probably
bring justice to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment. Nonetheless, even in these cases, I
personally
believe that it would be a more harmful approach than others. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
would not learn a lesson and, even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
would emerge sooner or later.

To conclude
, I
am convinced
that expelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullies
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not the ideal way to confront this issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bullies
belong to a social group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and will continue to exist even if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
from one place to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
However
, it is vital that we try to approach them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves, as that would
ultimately
bring more desired results both for the individual and the society.
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IELTS essay Bullies should be expelled from schools.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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