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has developed from a necessary activity to a kind of entertainment.

has developed from a necessary activity to a kind of entertainment. 3bdKN
The perception of shopping has transformed from what is necessary for maintaining our daily life to form of an enjoyable experience. This essay agrees this suggestion statement completely when it is considered the amount of money and time spent on it. To begin with, people surfing on the internet or swiping up a link, which is an Instagram influencer adding to her story, purchase products at the touch of a button even if they don’t go to a shopping mall. Since the followers are charmed with the lives of these promoters, they feel satisfied after having the same goods with them. For example, a friend of mine named Merve shops whenever Danla Biliç who is an Turkish influencer suggests cosmetics. In addition, shopping substitutes for our hobbies such as reading, exercising, jogging and, watching a movie. Instead of spending our free time by our interest, we prefer going shopping or reading comments of an outfit, airpods, a PC or a kitchen utensil online. I personally had to set up timers to some of my applications as Trendyol and Hepsiburada after I had realized that screen time of these apps were about 5 hours and 30 minutes per day. In conclusion, I fully support the view that shopping has been perceived as a kind of entertainment rather than a necessary activity when I think tought of the devoted money and time. As consumers embrace this new concept, we should keep in mind that we are also under a risk of financial and social imbalance.
The perception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has transformed from what is necessary for maintaining our daily life to form of an enjoyable experience. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
this suggestion statement completely when it
is considered
the amount of money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
surfing on the internet or swiping up a link, which is an Instagram influencer adding to her story,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products at the touch of a button even if they don’t go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall. Since the followers
are charmed
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of these promoters, they feel satisfied after having the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with them.
For example
, a friend of mine named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Merve
shops whenever
Possible spelling mistake found.
Danla
Possible spelling mistake found.
Biliç
who is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
Turkish influencer suggests cosmetics.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
substitutes for our hobbies such as reading, exercising, jogging and, watching a movie.
Instead
of spending our free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by our interest, we prefer going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
or reading comments of an outfit,
Possible spelling mistake found.
airpods
, a PC or a kitchen utensil online. I
personally
had to set up timers to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my applications as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trendyol
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hepsiburada
after I had realized that screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of these apps were about 5 hours and 30 minutes per day.

In conclusion
, I
fully
support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
been perceived
as a kind of entertainment
rather
than a necessary activity when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
of the devoted money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As consumers embrace this new concept, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that we are
also
under a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of financial and social imbalance.
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IELTS essay has developed from a necessary activity to a kind of entertainment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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