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grown-ups still living with their caretakers has been on the rise due to parental over-protection

grown-ups still living with their caretakers has been on the rise due to parental over-protection L30Jr
In the modern era, while graduates are typically thought to live apart from their parents, the number of grown-ups still living with their caretakers has been on the rise due to parental over-protection. While this tendency may bring about certain benefits, I would argue they are eclipsed by significant drawbacks. It is believed that inhabiting together has noteworthy positive effects. Firstly, financial burden and living expenses may be minimized. It is a common practice that graduates and inexperienced workers do not have a stable job or consistent income yet, causing them difficulties to afford their living costs and daily necessities during their independent life. Living together enables the parents to mitigate the obstacles of monthly housing rents and other significant daily expenses. Consequently, grown-ups can save money for further education and better future settlement. Furthermore, staying with parents can strengthen family bonds. Compared to those who live far away, family members sharing a house gain more opportunities for regular face-to-face engagement and daily interactions. Young adults, therefore, freely share their hardship and stress with their senior members, alleviating their tiredness and complaints. Despite aforementioned benefits, there exist detrimental impacts on those who do not live separately. It is the case that young adults may experience risks of immaturity due to excessive nurture. The parents’ helps may lead the young to lack of survival skills such as doing laundry or washing up, which can be huge obstacles in their later stages of life. There are no doubts that they appear to be reliant on their parents, which harms their self-development, preparations for independent life, self-cognition, and career success. Furthermore, an overprotective family can deprive children of personal autonomy and decision-making ability-staggering issues in today’s society. In terms of work, these youngsters seem to be less competitive and determined as opposed to those living independently. To summarize, whereas living together may relieve living expenses and enhance family relationship, children living with parents face the likelihood of over-reliance and failures in future independent life. From my perspective, teenagers should take entirely responsibilities for their lives at the age of eighteen.
In the modern era, while graduates are
typically
thought
to
live
apart from their
parents
, the number of grown-ups
still
living
with their caretakers has been on the rise due to parental over-protection. While this tendency may bring about certain benefits, I would argue they
are eclipsed
by significant drawbacks.

It
is believed
that inhabiting together has noteworthy
positive
effects.
Firstly
, financial burden and
living
expenses may
be minimized
. It is a common practice that graduates and inexperienced workers do not have a stable job or consistent income
yet
, causing them difficulties to afford their
living
costs and daily necessities during their independent
life
.
Living
together enables the
parents
to mitigate the obstacles of monthly housing rents and other significant daily expenses.
Consequently
, grown-ups can save money for
further
education and better future settlement.
Furthermore
, staying with
parents
can strengthen
family
bonds. Compared to those who
live
far away,
family
members sharing a
house
gain more opportunities for regular face-to-face engagement and daily interactions. Young adults,
therefore
,
freely
share their hardship and
stress
with their senior members, alleviating their tiredness and complaints.

Despite aforementioned benefits, there exist detrimental impacts on those who do not
live
separately
. It is the case that young adults may experience
risks
of immaturity due to excessive nurture. The
parents’
helps
may lead the young to lack of survival
skills
such as doing laundry or washing up, which can be huge obstacles in their later stages of
life
. There are no doubts that they appear to be reliant on their
parents
, which harms their self-development, preparations for independent
life
, self-cognition, and career success.
Furthermore
, an overprotective
family
can deprive children of personal autonomy and decision-making ability-staggering issues in
today
’s society. In terms of work, these youngsters seem to be less competitive and determined as opposed to those
living
independently
.

To summarize
, whereas
living
together may relieve
living
expenses and enhance
family
relationship, children
living
with
parents
face the likelihood of over-reliance and failures in future independent
life
. From my perspective,
teenagers
should take
entirely
responsibilities for their
lives
at the age of eighteen.
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IELTS essay grown-ups still living with their caretakers has been on the rise due to parental over-protection

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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