Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. q1pj5
It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose activities with a group or team even if it doesn’t appeal to you at all. I completely agree with this opinion and think that group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than alone. First of all, I believe that group activities make people feel confident and persistent no matter what kind of activities they do. Even if someone is doing activities by her / himself, but feels discouraged and compromises with his conscience, this person won’t enjoy his life. While doing activities with a group or team will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of billionaires have done their activities not because of being alone, but because it helps make friends with others. That’s why it is more crucial to do it with the team or group than by doing it alone. Secondly, doing activities with the team or group keeps you motivated and therefore you can do whatever you crave. In other words, you gradually begin to succeed in your career by working in a team. People who do activities with a team or group can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those who do alone. For instance, Bayarsaihan who is Mongolian well-known Mongolian volleyball player plays for the national team and he has been travelling around the world for competitions since he decided to join a team. And after converting his mind, his career was effective and he became the best setter in the country. Thus, the advantages of the group or team activities that keep your career high outweigh the drawback of doing alone. To conclude, I strongly believe that team or group work is more beneficial than which are done alone because it makes people hilarious and diligent
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that it is more advantageous to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
even if it doesn’t appeal to you at all. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can teach more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for life than alone.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel confident and persistent no matter what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
they do. Even if someone is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
by her / himself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feels discouraged and compromises with his conscience, this person won’t enjoy his life. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
billionaires have done their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being alone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with others. That’s why it is more crucial to do it with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
than by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it alone.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you motivated and
therefore
you can do whatever you crave.
In other words
, you
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to succeed in your career by working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can
easily
excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those who do alone.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bayarsaihan
who is Mongolian well-known Mongolian volleyball player plays for the national
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
team and
he has been travelling around the world for competitions since he decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. And after converting his mind, his career was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
effective and
he became the best setter in the country.
Thus
, the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your career high outweigh the drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
alone.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
work is more beneficial than which
are done
alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hilarious and diligent
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?