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Explain why many countries have staked claims in Antarctica, and why national interests have not been pursued. v.1

Explain why many countries have staked claims in Antarctica, and why national interests have not been pursued. v. 1
It is irrefutable that globalization is burgeoning at an exponential pace. There is a belief that sharing data regarding scientific research, the business and the academic is appreciable, whereas some opine that such data should not be shared as it might be of high value and importance. I completely believe that if the information is imperative and valuable then it should be classified. This essay intends to elucidate the worthwhile reasons behind both views with appropriate examples. To embark upon, a plethora of reasons can be attributed to why the sharing of the information is a good approach. The first and foremost reason is that it will help in the progression of fields. In other words, revealing the news with each other leads to the betterment of society as the new technology and the products will reach the locals much faster if the idea is known by many producers and investors. For instance, the first Iphone release shared the idea of the smartphone to the world, due to which many other companies started producing it and now almost everyone has a smartphone. Moreover, the shared information results in more reviews that can be used in the improvement of it. Although the thought of sharing is very beneficial for everyone, sometimes it is better to keep the data as secret. The receiving of the information by the wrong person is the salient reason behind this view. To illustrate, if a piece of information regarding the nuclear bomb gets leaked then it may result in a threat to the lives of millions. Undoubtedly, the security of information sharing is not trustworthy in this contemporary epoch as many hackers can easily get it and use it in perilous ways. What's more, business people don't always work for the betterment of the world so sharing may result in inflation in the prices of new technologies, researches, and products. In conclusion, while the sharing of information is better for the world as it ameliorates the technology and the lifestyle, some information should be kept private to prevent it from reaching the hands of criminals.
It is irrefutable that globalization is burgeoning at an exponential pace. There is a belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
data regarding scientific research, the business and the academic is appreciable, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that such data should not
be shared
as it might be of high value and importance. I completely believe that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is imperative and valuable then it should
be classified
. This essay intends to elucidate the worthwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind both views with appropriate examples.

To embark upon, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
can
be attributed
to why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach. The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the progression of fields.
In other words
, revealing the news with each other leads to the betterment of society as the new technology and the products will reach the locals much faster if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is known
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
producers and investors.
For instance
, the
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iphone
release shared the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the smartphone to the world, due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
producing it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
almost everyone has a smartphone.
Moreover
, the shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
results in more reviews that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the improvement of it.

Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for everyone,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the data as secret. The receiving of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
person is the salient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind this view. To illustrate, if a piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding the nuclear bomb
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
leaked then it may result in a threat to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of millions.
Undoubtedly
, the security of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is not trustworthy in this contemporary epoch as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hackers can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in perilous ways. What's more, business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't always work for the betterment of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
may result in inflation in the prices of new technologies, researches, and products.

In conclusion
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is better for the world as it ameliorates the technology and the lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
private to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it from reaching the hands of criminals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Explain why many countries have staked claims in Antarctica, and why national interests have not been pursued. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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