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Governments should spend more money on space exploration than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Spending more government’s money on space exploration seems to be useless as there are many technological invention in the Earth that can be funded. Also, I agree that such money can be used for giving schoolarship for the poor. The amount of money spent for space exploration can be allocated to help inventors of new technologies to fund their inventions, improving the quality of human’s life. It is because they are capable of using high quality materials to apply their ideas. For example, when the ministry of research in Indonesia gave some money for ITS student to expand the production of electric motorcycle, the student chose several expert materials, and they passed the public drive test for the motorcycle due to the robustness. However, there is possibillity that knowledges are only limited in the globe. Moreover, giving schoolarship for the poor using the government’s money can result in smart generations to build the nation. Many new students who can’t reach their dream before due to money concern can get a chance to achieve higher level of education. For instance, when the government provided bidik misi schoolarship for university students, a maduranese is able to study in University of Airlangga majoring public health and build a famous hospital in Madura with a good quality. In conclusion, not only do develepers have more cash to make a better technological upgrade, but also a better education of an indigent can be achieved. Will the government stop focusing on space exploration and build the strength knowledge in the earth?
Spending more
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of ‘government’.
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on space exploration seems to be useless as there are
Possible agreement error. The noun invention seems to be countable; consider using: “many technological inventions”.
many technological invention
in the Earth that can
be funded
.
Also
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for giving
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolarship
for the poor.

The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent for space exploration can
be allocated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
inventors of new technologies to fund their inventions, improving the quality of human’s life. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are capable of using high quality materials to apply their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For example
, when the ministry of research in Indonesia gave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for ITS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to expand the production of electric motorcycle, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
chose several expert materials, and they passed the public drive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
for the motorcycle due to the robustness.
However
, there is
Possible spelling mistake found.
possibillity
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited in the globe.

Moreover
, giving
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolarship
for the poor using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can result in smart generations to build the nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who can’t reach their dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
concern can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to achieve higher level of education.
For instance
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provided
Possible spelling mistake found.
bidik
Possible spelling mistake found.
misi
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolarship
for university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
maduranese
is able to study in University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Airlangga
majoring public health and build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
hospital in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Madura
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
Possible spelling mistake found.
develepers
have more cash to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better technological upgrade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a better education of an indigent can
be achieved
. Will the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
focusing on space exploration and build the strength knowledge in the earth?

IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on space exploration than on recreation and sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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