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Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. YQVQ
Each nation’s government allocates a percentage of money for educational purposes and for recreation and sports. Some believe governments should spend more money on education than recreation and sports, and I agree with this statment primarily because i firmly believe access to education is a basic human right and it builds the foundation for future career paths for the young generation. Access to education is a basic human right despite any ethnic and age differences. Its the ultimate responsibilty of a nation’s government to ensure their every citizen has access to education starting from schools to higher education such as universities. Unlike sports and recreational activities which are only specific populations are interested in, basic education for everyone should be mandated. If governments allocate more funds towards education, many educational institutes and facilities can be freely accessible for even those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds. A good education is an invaluable investment for a country’s own economy. It allows the youth to enhance their skills and directs them to career paths. Not only educational insititutes help the students to build up intellectual and cognitive skills, it also expands their social and interpersonal skills which are equally important for their future. A highly educated graduate has a higher probability of being employed, not only locally but abroad as well. They are more skilled and equipped to contribute for scientific or technological interventions which can bring global recognition. Although sports and recreation is an important aspect for any nation, I believe education brings more productivity and contributes greatly towards a country’s economy and recognition, therefore it should be priortised over sports and recreation in regards to funding.
Each nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
allocates a percentage of money for educational purposes and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
statment
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
firmly
believe access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a basic human right and it builds the foundation for future career paths for the young generation.

Access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a basic human right despite any ethnic and age differences.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
the ultimate
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
of a nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to ensure their every citizen has access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
starting from schools to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
such as universities. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and recreational activities which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
specific populations
are interested
in, basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for everyone should
be mandated
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
allocate more funds towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational institutes and facilities can be
freely
accessible for even those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is an invaluable investment for a country’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
economy. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the youth to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and directs them to career paths. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
insititutes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the students to build up intellectual and cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, it
also
expands their social and interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their future. A
highly
educated graduate has a higher probability of
being employed
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
locally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
abroad
as well
. They are more skilled and equipped to contribute for scientific or technological interventions which can bring global recognition.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect for any nation, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
brings more productivity and contributes
greatly
towards a country’s economy and recognition,
therefore
it should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
priortised
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
funding.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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